I Realized I Was Missing Something
I realized I was missing something…as a dad.
Being a dad, for me, is a serious responsibility.
I think my greatest responsibility, as I’m sure you can tell.
My wife and I live and breathe clean up all the messes of parenting
It often feels like a job.
My good intentions; to see my kids turn out as respectful and kid adults has me trying hard.
My effort and laser focus might actually be making things harder.
Like an athlete who gets into a slump and then tries even harder but actually makes it worse.
That’s how I’ve been feeling about my parenting right now…I’m just trying too hard.
This realization has pushed me to test out a new approach.
Instead, I’m trying to have more fun with it.
I was trying to see every moment as a chance to guide them to be more kind, resilient and independent children.
Now.
I’m just having fun.
So when one of my kids does something I don’t like, instead of correcting them I’m trying to find a way to have fun with it first so we can connect.
Once we have connected, then I can find a way to guide them.
This past weekend we laughed a lot…and it seems my attitude shift might be helping.
I hope to spend more time experiencing them and less time trying so hard to get the outcome.
How are you feeling as a dad? Do you, like me, take parenting seriously (maybe too seriously)? Or have you found ways to have fun with it?
Escaping Is The Key To Upping Your Dad Game
Escaping is the key to upping your dad game
Life as a dad, husband, and professional can sometimes feel like a never-ending Mario Kart race.
Each morning I can almost hear the ping ping ping piiiiiiiiiiing (Mario Kart) and then, boom, it's off to the races!
In my house, it's a daily Mario Kart rally.
My three zooming around like Mario and his pals, leaving a trail of banana peels (a.k.a. toys) and koopa shells (those dreaded Legos) in their wake.
It's a mix of chaos and fun, and it can be flat-out exhausting when it goes on for weeks and weeks.
Now, here's an eye-opening statistic: 43% of families live 200 miles or more away from their grandparents, and a majority live at least 50 miles away.
Why is this important?
Well, in the good ol' days, grandparents played a big role in providing secondary care for families.
I remember spending several days a week with my grandparents during the summer.
They were like the pit stop in our Mario Kart race, giving us a much-needed breather.
But times have changed.
Modern parents don't get enough of a break.
It's like slipping on a banana peel and getting hit with a koopa shell as we spin off the track.
Ouch!
And you know what suffers the most from this kart crash?
Our relationship with our spouse.
It takes a hit, and we feel it.
That's why my wife and I have made it a priority to invest in our relationship.
We've discovered a secret weapon—getting away from it all.
Yes, my fellow dads, it's time to plan those much-needed escapes, at least once, or even better, twice a year.
I know, it's easier said than done, especially during that first year with a new baby when they're attached to your wife's boobies.
But trust me; you'll get through that phase.
We're excited because we're about to go on our first long weekend away from all three kids since our youngest entered this world last February.
It's been too long.
We're strapping our little ones in the van and channeling our inner Walter Sobchak (think The Big Lebowski) by slowing down to 15 M P H and rolling them onto their grandparents' front lawn.
They need it, and we need it too.
Our goal is simple: we want to return from this adventure feeling more connected and refreshed, ready to tackle the next several levels of our Mario Kart race.
So fellow dads, I'm curious: what ways have you found to connect and invest in your relationship with your spouse?
Secrets to Being an Epic Dad - Insights from a Year of Writing Daily
Secrets to being an epic dad - insights from a year of writing about being a dad daily.
This week’s newsletter is a celebration and a reflection on a year of daily writing. Let's dive in!
First, I can’t believe how fast a year went. This is my 53rd newsletter since I started on July 1, 2022.
I'm incredibly grateful to all of you who have been part of this journey.
Throughout this past year, the practice of working on myself, writing every day and sharing content multiple times a week has taught me invaluable lessons.
It has made me a better dad, husband, son, friend, and colleague.
It's like embarking on a backyard landscaping project—sometimes ambiguous, seemingly never-ending, but once you take the first step, the results are astonishing and inspire you to do even more.
The effort I've invested in self-work has paid off in countless ways.
I feel healthier, more composed (well, most of the time), and deeply connected with myself and my loved ones.
I've also found that I communicate more clearly, which has strengthened my relationships.
All the self-work (including things like meditation and gratitude journaling), I found these three things are my favorite:
1\ I wake up early to indulge in an hour of quiet time for myself—reading, writing, or simply enjoying the tranquility.
2\ I stick to my five-day-a-week gym routine, which has had a tremendous impact on my overall well-being.
3\ Writing daily has become a release, allowing me to express my thoughts and work through the anxieties of life and fatherhood.
So after one year I figured I would set some intentions for the next year.
1\ I intend to maintain my consistency with quiet time, hitting the gym, and writing. These practices have become the pillars of my self-improvement journey, and I can't wait to see where they take me.
2\ I've realized that I've fallen into a pattern of consuming news or watching YouTube shorts more mornings before heading to the gym. To break this habit, I'm committing to reading more. It's time to fill my mornings with enriching books that ignite my imagination and broaden my perspectives.
3\ I've set my sights on that money. Well more specifically, financial sovereignty. I firmly believe that achieving true freedom of time for myself, my family, and the things I love—like fishing, foraging, hunting, and traveling—requires a greater focus on financial freedom.
Over the next year, I will embark on a journey to find, evaluate, and eventually purchase a profitable business. This endeavor feels particularly timely, given the wave of retiring business owners.
If you're interested in joining me on this adventure, let me know, and I'll provide updates every 4 to 6 weeks.
Thank you again for being part of my writing journey.
Your support and engagement have been invaluable, and I'm excited to continue sharing my experiences and insights with you all. Stay tuned for more and keep those dad jokes alive!
Cheers,
Matt
We Hired An Expert
Being a dad sometimes feels like a circus.
And not the Cirque du Soleil kind.
Most days feel more like Jackie Moon wrestling Dewey the Killer Bear in Semi-Pro, entertaining but on the edge of chaos.
Most days it feels like I’m shouting “Spumoni” but it doesn’t stop.
Entertaining but always on the edge of chaos.
On a recent hike, in the first half, we were having fun discovering treasures of the deep woods.
And then.
Our youngest started crying inconsolably.
While our 3-year-old wanted to be carried.
And our 4 yo pooped his pants.
Diarrhea has a way of showing up at the most inopportune times.
I stripped him down in the rainy, 40-degree weather.
Requiring me to put down our 3 yo which sent her into a meltdown.
I then used his socks as TP (sorry future hikers, for desecrating the untainted trail).
Our nerves were shot; I would rather have been chased by a bear.
And then, instead of going out to dinner as planned, we headed straight home.
Where I had to look at the landscaping projects that have been staring me in the face for almost 2 years.
Our yard was a wreck when we bought the house. We spent the last 2 summers pulling shrubs and removing concrete.
We wanted to do some beautification to move our circus outside when the weather is nice and enjoy our yard.
But we’ve had difficulty finding the time and energy amidst our routine.
So we decided to hire an expert.
And we found a landscaping magician to help us beautify our yard so we could enjoy ourselves.
And it was exactly what we needed.
Offloading projects, better suited for someone else, helps me enjoy the circus more.
And the reduced stress prevents it from devolving into chaos as often.
P.S. The pic is of our Space Cowboy and Cowgirl enjoying our new firepit. Apparently, Space Cowboys fly shirtless.
The Ancient Technique I’m Teaching My Kids
Dads, this ancient technique has led to some of history's greatest discoveries.
It’s centuries-old (~ 13th century) and even more practical today than ever.
And I'm teaching it to my kids.
Dads, this ancient technique has led to some of history's greatest discoveries.
It’s centuries-old (~ 13th century) and even more practical today than ever.
And I'm teaching it to my kids.
Einstein lived by it.
This simple yet proven technique can be used just as much in life as in business or in science.
That timeless technique:
The scientific method.
Ok that was a lot of build up.
Let me tell you why I'm teaching my kids the scientific method and how I’m making it fun.
Even for children as young as 3.
The scientific method is a simple, profound way to snap up knowledge like Mario nabbing mushrooms.
It is this method that leads to new discoveries.
The beauty is that it starts with curiosity and is rooted in trying (experimentation).
And although science is in the name, it doesn’t take a scientist.
The scientific method teaches that failure (trial and error) is part of the process.
And we learn as much from what doesn’t work than what does.
And data is the true indicator of outcome.
I have found a fun way to make it a part of my 3 and 4-year-olds' daily life.
We play a game called “What Floats?”
No this isn't a poop joke.
At bathtime, we scan the bathroom for things we think might float in the bathtub (observe).
We ask the question: "which bathroom item will float?" (question)
We look for items that we think might float and come up with guesses of why we think it might float (hypothesis).
Then we drop it in the tub and see what happens (baby sister is off limits) (experiment).
We see what floats and what sinks (analysis).
And we keep retrying with new items.
We start to see a pattern (knowledge).
It's beautiful.
It's simple.
You can take try it out with almost anything like:
"What can you add to lemonade to make it sweeter?"
Or the next time your child asks, “why do some balloons float?”
Instead of just telling them the answer, ask them what they think.
And turn it into a science experiment.
Yes, you might burn half a day but what better way to kill a rainy Sunday than to experiment?
And I also realized that I use the scientific method almost every day.
At work and in life.
I use it to:
Test and find the right message that will land with potential clients.
Or identify what is wrong with our two-year-old oven.
And my kids use this approach to figure out how they can squeeze another snack out of daddio.
Kids are born with the intuition to use the scientific method.
It is how they learn to walk, talk and stop pooping their pants.
The challenge is as kids get older.
Failure becomes less accepted…
Most stop using the scientific method unless they are in a science lab.
That is why making the scientific method a learning tool is so important for my family and me.
Even if they don’t study science, this approach will treat them well in business or daily life.
and just maybe one day…
They will discover something that has never been discovered.
I Wish These Existed
Dads, ideas I wish existed that would make fatherhood a whole lot easier.
I wish these existed.
I would pay a small fortune.
Being a dad can be tough.
After a Spring Break vacation filled with carting, loading, wiping, and carrying three kids...
It got me thinking (ok fantasizing) about things that would make life as a dad…
just a wee bit easier.
Here are the 12 things I wish existed as a dad of 3 kids under 5.
1/ “Magnetic onesie”
A baby onesie that clasps shut like a magnetic screen door.
As soon as you pull those little baby legs and arms through the sleeves…
The magnet does the rest and snaps that baby shut.
2/ “Blowout-proof diaper”
How many times has a baby blowout tipped your day into chaos (it always happens at the most inopportune time)?
We need diapers that are impervious to a blowout (catch all the poop no matter what)
What a world it would be if things were blowout free.
3/ “The Slap Diaper”
A diaper that works like one of those slap bracelets.
As soon as that baby bottom lands near, it just snaps on.
No more diaper wrestling.
4/ “Toddler translator”
I’m convinced toddlers are from another planet.
And my inability to understand their language usually ends in toddler rage.
What if a translator could tell us, dads, exactly what our little aliens want?
5/ “Slime-Resistant Shirt”
I lost count of how many times I peeked in the mirror and I looked like Venkman from Ghostbusters.
My shirt covered in snot or spit up.
I need a shirt where the upper half is like Teflon, nothing sticks to it…
That would totally transform my daily appearance.
6/ “Undo button”
Oh man, I’ve been saved so many times by Ctrl-Z (undo) on a computer.
What if life with kids had an undo button?
I would use it like Michael Scott overuses “that’s what she said”.
7/ “Pause Button”
You’re in the trenches changing a diaper and putting out a few fires.
You just need 15 minutes to pull yourself together.
It would be great if life had a 15-minute pause button where my kids would stop and I could pull myself together and soak it up…just 15 minutes.
8/ “Buddy button”
Sometimes I need a rip cord to stop the free fall and find a fellow war hero (a buddy) to share my stories of the trenches with.
It would be great if there were an SOS app that could find another buddy that at that moment was also ready to get away.
9/ “Sleep dust”
Yes, there is melatonin (and whiskey) but they have negative long-term side effects when used as sleep aids.
I would love some dust (a pan) I could slam (sprinkle) my 2-year-old with at bedtime so she would…
To steal a line from Adam Mansbach “Go the F⚪k to sleep”.
10/ “Nighttime Nanny”
I call my middle a werewolf.
Every time there is a full moon (or a moon in any phase) she creeps into our room for the umpteenth time and needs to be walked back to bed.
After these long nights, I wake up feeling like a drank a case of beer.
It would be great if someone or something could walk my little werewolf back to bed, tuck her in so I could get some dreamy sleep.
11/ “Remote Relocator”
If you’re like our family, we limit TV for our kids but they crave it like addicts.
So many times, we’ve hidden the remote like a squirrel, and couldn’t remember which hole in the yard it was in.
All we need is a remote that is equipped with an “I’m here” function so we could find it when we needed it.
12/ "Self-Cleaning Car"
Our van looks like an Atlantic City beach; covered in sand, wrappers, and old discarded toys.
It would be great to have a car that can automatically clean itself inside and out,
so I don’t feel guilty about my wife's daily trip with the Jersey Shore.
My takeaway:
If only these things existed, they would make dadding a little easier.
And I would pay a small fortune.
Tinkerers, inventors, and entrepreneurs, let me know if you come up with any of these.
Dads, what did I miss?
Dads with older kids, are there inventions I will need as my kids age?
Dads, Don’t Make This Common Mistake
Dads, this common mistake might be preventing our kids from thriving, but there's a simple fix.
Dads, stop making this common mistake that might prevent your kids from thriving.
We all want to raise confident and independent kids.
But, like me, you’ve probably used this common, seemingly harmless phrase.
And it might be planting seeds of doubt and fear in our kids.
The great thing is there is a simple fix.
But first, the seemingly benign phrase.
“Be careful.”
Each time we say “be careful,” what we’re really saying is;
“Hey, I'm afraid (fear) you’re going to get hurt,” and “you’re not capable of thinking about the risk, and you need me to remind you.”
Trust me, I’ve said it, but I try not to because…
By saying “be careful,” we’re subtly reinforcing that we fear things and our kids should too.
And we lack trust in their ability to navigate life.
The result is unnecessary anxiety.
Of course, none of us wake up in the morning and declare, “how can I make my kids more anxious, afraid, and a little less confident.”
We all want to raise confident, independent little explorers.
AND we want them to grow up with all their limbs, intact.
So here’s the easy fix.
Instead of “be careful”
Say, “what's your plan?”
But you might think, what if my kid is barrelling toward boiling water?
Or dashing for the busy street. That’s not good, right?
There is a solution for this too. But first, here’s why “what’s your plan?” is the fix.
By using ‘what’s your plan” instead of “be careful,” you’re getting your kids to think about their actions, what they are trying to do, and the potential outcome.
Our goal as parents should be for our kids to assess risk independently.
Not to avoid risk.
Especially as they enter a future that will likely look very different than the one we live in.
With tech changing things daily, our kids will need to be great at assessing risk rather than avoiding it.
If they still don’t see the inherent risk in climbing to the top of a dead tree.
We might add a follow-up question like how are you going to make sure the limb doesn’t break beneath you or how are you going to get down?
This gets them to anticipate and think through potential obstacles or failure points.
Now back to them in immediate danger, like barrelling toward boiling water or dashing for a busy street.
When we dads are babysitting our kids (my wife says, “you don’t ‘babysit’ your own kids”), it is our job to keep them safe.
Sometimes we need to swoop in like superman and save them but then take the time to reflect.
I would argue this is rare, but sometimes our kids have a lapse in judgment and decide they want to play frogger with traffic.
Once you save them, don’t yell.
Simply ask them if they understand why you swooped in.
Ask them what might have happened if you let them complete the action.
Then explain to them how we need to respect things that could hurt us.
Takeaway:
So the next time you go to say, “be careful,” catch yourself and ask your child, “what’s your plan?”
They will likely look at you like you have six heads because they are used to hearing “be careful.”
Consistently taking the “what’s your plan?” approach will give them the confidence to independently assess the risk of things.
They will be more confident, independent, and ready to take on risks.
Because if they’re avoiding risk, they’re avoiding success.
Raise Kids That Can Defeat Robots
6 Ways To Raise Kids That Can Defeat Robots.
Dads, have you ever thought, damn, Terminator is looking less like fiction?
Undoubtedly the future will look like some version of the Jetsons…full of robots.
Robots, or what we commonly refer to as Artificial Intelligence (AI), have caused more buzz than the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.
The hype has been chiefly about OpenAI’s ChatGPT.
What is ChatGPT?
First, AI stands for Artificial Intelligence, and it's like a robot brain that can think and learn on its own.
And ChatGPT is a special kind of AI that can talk and write, just like you and me.
So imagine Pinky is like a regular person, and he wants to know something. But instead of asking the Brain, he asks ChatGPT. And ChatGPT can find the answer for him really fast, because it's really smart.
Just like how the Brain always has a plan to take over the world, AI and ChatGPT have a plan to help people with all sorts of things, like talking to a doctor, or helping with school work.
[ChatGPT’s answer when prompted to explain ChatGPT like Pinky and The Brain]
ChatGPT can draw up contracts, craft blogs, write code, pen essays, and pass exams.
ChatGPT could even get an elite MBA from a Uni like Wharton.
A Wharton MBA professor recently gave ChatGPT their course exam, and it beat students, scoring a B.
If you think that’s impressive, ChatGPT passed the US Medical Licensing exam.
And coasted to a pass on the Bar exam (lawyers betta be scared).
Educators worry that cheating will spread faster than the latest TikTok dance trend, stoking fear that AI will make many things we know today obsolete.
So much for Waylon Jennings' advice:
“mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys…let’em be doctors and lawyers and such.”
So what?
The opportunity might be in what we value and how we teach our kids, so they don’t get replaced by robots.
This tweet from Neil deGrasse Tyson (Astrophysicist) sums it up well.
If parents and educators, continue to value grades over learning, we are destined to raise kids that robots can replace in the job market.
Well, how can an exhausted, maybe non-techie, dad raise the John (or Sarah) Connors, that can defeat SkyNet (not get replaced by robots)?
Here are the 6 things I’m doing and you can do today:
1/ Get familiar with AI
You don’t have to be a genius or techie to use AI.
ChatGPT is free, and interacting with it is as easy as typing in questions.
There’s a fun website that lets you type in any word and creates an image from those words. This AI tool is called DreamStudio.
Try it out. Have fun. This is only the beginning.
2/ Raise kids with traits that AI will not easily replace.
Creativity, empathy, critical thinking, and communication (a big topic for a future blog post).
There are many ways to do this but to put it simply, model and encourage these behaviors through your own actions.
Think “monkey see, monkey do.”
And encourage them to; pursue passions like the arts, solve puzzles, name and discuss their emotions and find their favorite storytellers so they can read and learn to tell stories.
3/ Expose them to AI early
Use ChatGPT to explain a topic. Use a prompt like this:
Explain [Insert Complex Topic] like [Their Favorite Cartoon Character] to [Grade level].
Example of a prompt I might use:
Explain nuclear fusion like paw patrol to a preschooler.
Nuclear fusion is like when the Paw Patrol team works together to save the day. Just like how each pup has a special skill and job, the tiny things inside atoms called nuclei have special properties and when they work together, they can make a bigger and stronger atom. This process is called nuclear fusion and it's what makes the sun shine, and it's also what scientists are trying to do in special places called fusion reactors to make clean energy. Just like how the Paw Patrol team works together to save the day, Nuclear fusion can make a lot of energy for us to use.
Explore together. Let your kids ask the questions. Discuss where it is right and where it does not explain things fully.
4/ See AI as a power tool
Ok, so imagine you’re building a skate ramp for your kids.
You could use a handsaw but damn, you will be there for hours. Instead, you pull out your Dewalt battery-powered circular saw.
This is how we should think of AI. It can help us work faster and better while saving us from some serious pain (dem’ shoulders get sore for days in your 40s)
Need to draft an email to an upset customer...use AI.
Need an icebreaker or good “no fail’ question to start a meeting…use AI.
Want to draft a rental contract for a new tenant…see where I’m going with this?
One emerging trend for using AI as a power tool is promptcraft.
Promptcraft is like being a woodworker and using power tools to aid in crafting a beautiful piece of furniture.
The woodworker knows that the joints and the finish make the piece beautiful, so that’s where they spend most of their time learning and focusing.
Promptcraft uses AI to make quick and accurate cuts so you can spend your time on the joints and the finish to get a beautiful piece.
5/ Explain to them how AI is already improving lives
I work in healthcare, and we’re using AI to make doctors' and nurses' jobs easier by finding diseases that even a trained eye might not catch.
It is also helping find patients that might be at risk so they can get treatment before things get hopeless.
But it doesn’t stop with healthcare. Tesla and self-driving cars use AI to make roads safer by making decisions way quicker than distracted drivers (get off your phone).
Next time you see a Tesla on the road, make a note to your son or daughter and mention how the robot in the Tesla is making the roads safer for all of us.
6/ Value learning over grades
Grades might have some value, but learning is the key to life. Praise the act of trying, failing, reflecting, redesigning, and retrying.
Hell, instead of sitting at a desk. Play hooky (a post on this topic) with your child to learn something. Go to a museum, learn a new sport, or take a class on a new practical skill.
Try something, try anything that focuses on the act of learning.
Takeaway
We, dads, have a big responsibility, to make sure our kids don’t get replaced by robots.
It starts with us learning about and embracing AI as a power tool that can make life better.
Pick one of these things and start today. Your kids’ futures will depend on it.
“I’ll be back….”(said in my best Arnold voice)
Connect with Your Wife By Getting Awkward Like Michael Scott
Tools for dads with full plates to raise lil’ badasses. Starting with a better you, daddio.
How to get inspiration from Michael Scott to better connect with your wife and make new friends.
Do you ever dread situations where you’re forced to meet someone new?
Do you cringe at meeting a new work colleague or attending a friend’s holiday party?
How will I fill those empty voids? How do I keep the conversation going? Those are just a couple of questions that race through my mind in these scenarios.
Psychologists believe your next new friend might be made by exploring Michael Scott-style awkward questions.
Michael Scott is notorious for his get-too-personal, too-quick style of interacting.
But it’s not just Michael Scott who believes in getting up close and personal with new people.
According to head doctors, guinea pigs participants in an awkward question study reported feeling more connected and happier with their ‘new acquaintances.’
These researchers outlined a series of questions designed to make people feel vulnerable, which tends to break down walls and forge a closeness.
I wanted to put it to the test, so I asked my wife if she would be up for a “hot new experiment” (she rolled her eyes at first but eventually got on board.)
I scrolled through the questions below, which turned into 45 minutes of fun and laughter. Heck, I even learned something new about my wife.
Try the questions out with your wife/partner before trying this on a stranger. You both might have a good time, learn something new, and feel more connected.
Of course, I can’t suggest being vulnerable without exposing myself. So here are the awkward-inducing questions from the article and my response to add color.
Q: "Can you describe a time you cried in front of another person?"
A: Nothing can bring tears like old yeller…definitely the passing of our family dog.
Q: "What is one of the more embarrassing moments in your life?"
A: Any one of the 100 times one of my kids lost it in public.
Q: "For what in your life do you feel most grateful?"
A: My daily routine. Wake up early to write and read (before the monsters get up), do an AM workout, a midday meditation (in between juggling work and some fiercely independent kiddos).
Q: "If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your future, or anything else, what would you want to know?"
A: Are we going to make it? Our current forecast; is a Michigan winter, 3 kids under five, at home, while I’m trying to WFH.
Q: "What do you love doing?"
A: Exploring and discovering. Translation; hiking, hunting, traveling and foraging for mushrooms (not at the same time).
Q: "What do you regret most?"
A: Wish I knew in my 20s what I know now (at 42). Translation; Invested in more real estate, went on a grand adventure (like the kid that built a log cabin by hand…check this out), did not work right after college but moved to Paris, tended bar, and learned French (oui, oui).
Q: "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
A: Also the worst interview question. I didn’t answer, who knows what will happen in 5 years.
And finally, the lightning round. Here are a few more questions to keep the awkwardness going.
Q: "Are you better at working, or relaxing?"
A: relaxing
Q: "Are you more sensitive to news, or fiction?"
A: probably news (I don’t think I would use this question).
Q: "Given the choice, would you live alone or with others?"
A: This is easy…others.
Q: "Which comes more naturally to you, gratitude or generosity?"
A: Generosity
Q: "Do you often forgo transparency for kindness?"
A: Absolutely…sometimes I wish I was a bit blunter (Breaking Bad Saul-style)
So get awkward. Start with your partner. See what you learn. And then, if it works, go all Michael Scott, and get awkward at your next meet and greet.
5 Things I’m Doing In 2023 To Crush Dadding
A new year is like a new pair of underwear. It doesn’t feel right until you’ve worn them in, if you know what I’m saying.
Here are 5 things I plan on making 2023 fit a little more comfortably as a dad:
1/ No Judgment January
No Judgment January is like dry January but with the alcohol (well, not exactly).
I’m committing for the next 30 days.
The commitment; is not to judge, blame or criticize my kids.
By approaching each scream, cry, yell, or fighting (you know, 2x4 over the head like Hacksaw Jim Duggan) as Sherlock Holmes, with complete curiosity, and without emotion.
So rather than immediately judging, blaming, or criticizing, I am looking to understand the feeling or emotion causing my child’s temporary lapse of judgment.
The goal is to be a calmer dad by being calmer in the most stressful situations with my kiddos.
So a 30-day commitment it is.
I hope that after 30 days, I’m not going to go back to judging, blaming, and criticizing because a good habit was formed by going hard for a short period.
Wish me luck.
2/ Learn something new
I found an Airbnb experience (renting an activity vs. a house) where I can learn to become a fun-ghi. There’s a lady locally that teaches mushroom foraging.
I already forage mushrooms (morels and puff balls) but want to ‘expand’ my mind. I’m just going for edible mushrooms, not psychedelic type…I don’t think.
It doesn’t matter what, but I feel like I’m growing when I'm learning.
3/ An expanded source of info.
I’m a podcast/YouTube junkie.
I get a dopamine hit from learning something new, but I listen to the same four or five.
I need to expand my horizon, so I’m searching for a new podcast.
Two I’m considering are:
Founders (https://founders.simplecast.com/) is one.
Have you seen a business biography? They’re 900-page bibles.
Founders is a one to two-hour summary of biographies of the most successful entrepreneurs (think Steve Jobs) highlighting the keys to their success.
I’m also considering How To Take Over The World (https://www.httotw.com/), a concise summary of some of the greatest conquerors of land, industry, and economy.
Any other podcasts I should consider?
4/ No more play-by-play.
Recently, I had one of those light bulb moments when my wife gives me the play-by-play of how one of our kids is ruining the day…it sets me off.
So I decided not to focus on the play-by-play but on the feeling I was feeling and tagging my wife in if my emotions were running high.
Again the goal is to be Yoda (calm and consistent guide) for my kids. And I can achieve that only if I’m not fired up.
5/ One-on-one time
Make one-on-one time a priority with each of my kids every week.
A trip to the grocery store, a puzzle together, or maybe a snowy walk.
A little individual time for us to connect.
What are you doing to make 2023 the best year yet?
How To Make Christmas Less Stressful
Aaaah Christmas.
Ever feel like Clark Griswold from Christmas vacation?
Stressed out trying to find your family that perfect gift while juggling hanging Christmas lights, closing out the year at work, and hosting family (especially your weird cousin)?
Here are five ways to make Christmas a little less stressful, keep our kids more grounded, and feel more connected.
1/ Sling soup at a soup kitchen
Every year, the day after Christmas, my mom signed us up to serve at the local soup kitchen.
We complained. We wanted to play with our Christmas toys at home in our PJs.
However, we grew to enjoy it and have many great stories from this time.
We also learned that people are in need, and serving others feels good.
2/ Buy gifts for someone else’s family
Wait, what family would give up gifts for Christmas?!?!
And how does this help me remove the stress of buying gifts by buying gifts for a whole other family?
Hear me out.
Adopting a family is easier because they typically give you a list of wants and needs.
You don’t need to find the perfect gift for each family member (this can be a painstaking hunt).
Also, your kids eventually learn it is better to give than receive.
Think about it. Most of the ‘things’ your kids and spouse want are things we can get almost any day of the year if we need them.
Many families don’t have this luxury, so why not teach the importance of giving by blessing a family in need?
3/ Stoke the embers of a new ritual
Holidays are all about tradition.
Why not start something new (our blog about new rituals here).
Try creating a new ritual that your family gets excited about every year.
One idea we explored after having some of the most delicious pancakes diner pancakes was trying to recreate the perfect fluffy diner-style pancakes.
Try a new recipe from scratch (no pre-boxed pancake mix).
Let it get a little messy.
Then each year, try to top the previous year's pancakes. Slathering those pancakes with butter and your neighbor's homemade maple syrup doesn’t hurt, either.
4/ Learn a new party trick, as a family
We have gotten into the rhythm of doing family cooking classes together over the holidays.
One year we learned to cook gritty south Philly Italian in a Philly neighborhood right out of the Rocky movie.
Where do you find something like this?
Look at Airbnb Experiences in your local area.
Or check out a Masterclass.
YouTube is a great place to learn how to DIY just about anything (learn to whistle loudly like a train or impress guests by learning to juggle).
Do it together as a family. Even if it is a bust, there will still be a Christmas story that will likely live on for years.
5/ Don’t do things, do experiences
Go to a museum with your family.
Go on an epic hike (or snowshoe if you are in Northern Michigan) where the destination is a treat (bakery, breakfast, or brewery).
Make a scavenger hunt (here’s one you can print off) in your neighborhood, and let the winner or winning team pick the next activity.
The Takeaway
Let’s make the Holidays easier on ourselves and a little less stressful by finding ways to connect more and focusing on experiences rather than things.
How To Raise Future-Proofed Kids
Ever wonder…geez, life is tough; I can’t imagine what it will be like for my kids?
I don’t have a crystal ball, but things have changed a ton since I was a kid, and I can only imagine that life will look pretty different when our kids grow up.
One of the common characteristics of successful adults is that they’re comfortable with failure and mistakes.
Here’s why.
Success in life is about learning from mistakes.
Chamath Palihapitiya, the controversial billionaire with a rags-to-riches story, said, "life's success is how you control your mistakes. The way you control your mistakes is by making a bunch of mistakes.”
Mistakes are jet fuel for success.
We learn through mistakes because each mistake reduces the number and severity of future errors until we know what is needed to succeed.
As our kids get older, the world around them (including us dads) expects them to make fewer mistakes and yet this is an inherently flawed mindset.
Think about how mistakes lead us to some of our greatest discoveries in life.
Some questionable dating mistakes are how we found our +1.
Mistakes are what lead to thriving new businesses.
Mistakes have uncovered breakthrough products, services, and nuclear fusion.
A culture of mistakes is how our kids become confident and entrepreneurial lil’ badasses ready to tackle whatever the future holds.
So how do we make mistakes as much part of our family tradition as cheering for our favorite football team?
Here are three ways you can start today:
1/ Make mistakes a side dish at dinnertime
Ask your kids how they failed each day (check out the Art of Family Dinner Convo blog).
You, too, can participate by letting your kids know which mistakes you made that day.
“Kids, I thought Scam Bank-Fried was a philanthropist and lost a mound of dirty fiat on the FTX crypto exchange.”
Do this around the dinner table each night to make it routine.
Then ask them what they learned from their mistakes.
By making it part of dinner each day, your kids will learn a tradition of valuing mistakes.
2/ Celebrate mistakes
Treat mistakes as gifts. Celebrate them.
Mistakes are a gift because each one is newly acquired knowledge.
Do this by going a little deeper once your kids share their mistakes. They may even have failed several times that day.
Ask them which mistake was their favorite and why.
Ask them what they learned from their failure.
Celebrating mistakes by talking about them will make them a part of your family tradition.
3/ Don’t throw the flag and penalize
It's easy to think not all mistakes are created equal.
But I would argue it is important how we handle all mistakes, even mistakes that seem blatant or no-brainers, like when my son wakes up in the morning and douses our toilet like an unmanned garden hose.
My instinct is to be like, “SON! You suck at pissing! Sit down next time”!
It is easy for me to default to anger or shame for intentional (taking the base screws out of dad’s office chair) or no-brainer (pissing all over the toilet seat) mistakes.
But this is where a tradition of mistakes can start to erode.
It would be better for me to acknowledge that his aim isn’t good quite yet, and until he learns to hit the bullseye, he will need to clean it up and go back to sitting when pissing.
Our challenge to you:
The ability to embrace mistakes is a key to raising kids that can handle whatever the future throws at them.
Start by making mistakes a tradition by serving them daily at the dinner table. Celebrate them, and don't penalize mistakes, even no-brainers.
Let's get out there and push mistakes like weights (ode to the great poet Ice Cube).
A Letter To My Son
Whenever I describe your birth, I describe it as the best and most memorable moment of my life (the best day of my life was the day I married your mother).
I vividly remember that day. I know how you love it when I tell the story.
So here it goes again.
It started with your momma thinking she peed the bed (it was her water breaking).
And a chain reaction was set in motion when I fired off a simple text “Meredith’s in labor.” The text sent our whole family into a tizzy, especially Grammy.
Side note: Grammy’s herd of friends were cheering for her to fulfill her life’s aspiration of being a grandma (you were it, buddy).
Then hours of painful agony your momma endured (+12 hours of labor) to squeeze you out into this world.
And your birth(I am crying right now just thinking about it).
There was a love born at that moment that I never knew existed.
It was a love for you, my sweet baby boy, and for your momma, who did all the hard work to bring you into this world.
The pride I had for my new baby boy as I clipped the umbilical cord and you laid lightly crying with your pink and blue-veined skin covered in a waxy gook (vernix).
The excitement and tears of joy as momma and I tossed names out for an hour and a half until we found the name that fit you, Henryk.
Finally, we decided that we had held off the feral grandparents long enough. We asked the nurses to open the gate to let your fiending family finally meet you.
They tore back the curtain, and we announced you to our world (your family).
“We want you to meet your new grandson, Henryk Wyatt”.
There were so many hugs and kisses and tears of joy.
You couldn’t leave the hospital without an examination. The nurse came in, and Mimi and Grammy joined me to do a complete once-over. The nurse noted you looked healthy and normal except for one thing.
The nurse said she had never seen anything like it in her 32-year career.
“This is the tightest butt hole I have ever seen.”
Don’t ask me how she measured tightness or why that was the thing she chose to say but it makes us laugh every time we tell that part of the story.
That is your origin story.
I needed to be reminded of the greatest moment in my life before I share with you the heaviness I am feeling today.
One day, probably in the not-too-distant future, you will be able to read this.
There are three things I hope you get from this letter; mistakes, emotions, and being a dad is tough at times.
First, mistakes are an important part of life. I hope you will look at my mistakes with grace because I’m trying.
Here is an interesting way to look at the importance of mistakes.
I recently listened to a podcast that interviewed Chamath Palihapitiya (a controversial billion with an amazing rags-to-riches story).
Chamath said this about mistakes, “life's success is how you control your mistakes. You control your mistakes by making a bunch of mistakes.”
Here’s how I interpret his quote.
Success in life is about the speed and intensity of learning, and learning comes only through trying and failing.
And the more we fail (make mistakes), especially early in life, the quicker we learn what works and how to succeed.
I hope that my mistakes now will make me a better dad tomorrow.
The second thing I hope you get from this letter is how I feel in this challenging phase.
This letter is me showing you that all emotions (even negative ones) are ok and my attempt to share them in a healthy way with you.
We are in a low, right now.
What does a low feel like?
It feels like being in the dark: a little scary and unclear which way is the right direction.
I feel this way because we have tried everything, and nothing seems to be working right now.
It feels like my senior year of high school soccer and getting knocked out in the playoffs. We put in so much work to get to that point but it was not enough.
Your momma and I have put in a lot of work trying to be the best parents for you and your sisters.
I’m also feeling frustrated that I can’t figure out what you need.
You’re four and a half.
I know it must be hard to express how you are feeling.
The frustration is also a frustration with myself because at times I let my emotions get the better of me, and I’m not always the calm emotional example you need.
As I write this letter, I am committed to you, your sisters, and our family that I will keep trying.
Keep trying to be a better dad, understand what you need, and help you find ways to share your emotions in a healthy way.
There are no bad emotions; all emotions are ok.
My role as your dad and our role as parents is to show you and coach you how to share your emotions (even negative ones) in a good way that doesn’t harm you or those around you.
Finally.
I love you, son. I am proud of you. And I am proud to be your father.
What Making Pancakes Can Teach Us About Raising Great Kids
A friend once told me they refer to their firstborn as their first pancake.
Have you ever woken up early and had a craving for just-add-water pancake mix?
If you have, you can relate to the first pancake analogy.
More times than not, the first pancake is slightly misshapen and not cooked right (too brown or too pale) as you get a feel for the pan and your cooking rhythm.
The first pancake is the test pancake, so all the other pancakes are perfectly cooked.
Sometimes I feel this way with our firstborn. We made most of our mistakes with him, and our other kids benefited from their now 'experienced' parents.
Before our first child, I researched and read books about raising the next Elon Musk.
But nothing prepared me for that moment I became a father. It was exciting and scary.
The great news is I learned a ton from our first pancake. Here are the four things I learned so you can avoid the test pancake:
Step 1 - Prep: Research shows that 0 to 7 years is the most critical development stage.
It took real-life challenges to find the right books.
Here are the 3 books that every dad should read before his first is born to navigate those early and most formative years.
1/ Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It.
Summary: The FBI's top hostage negotiator shares how empathy is the key to winning in business, life, and parenting.
2/ No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame.
Summary: As any great CEO uses confidence, respect, and calm direction, so should parents with their kids. Author Janet Lansbury shows how important it is to avoid being dismissive, judgemental, and demeaning which is key to raising confident and independent kids.
3/ Twelve Hours Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old: A Step-by-Step Plan for Baby Sleep Success.
Summary: Sleeping is your child's first lesson in independence. Learning how to self-soothe and put themselves to sleep. A more rested baby and parenting unit is a happier and healthier household.
Step 2 - Proper Utensils: I imagined my role as a coach, teacher, and discipliner.
But in those early years, it is more fundamental.
I discovered that so much of the early years are about calmly helping my kids identify and express their emotions.
This may sound touchy-feely, but I learned this is critical to the healthy development of all other areas.
Honestly, being a calm model to help my son recognize his emotions has helped me a ton.
I came to the realization that I needed to work on this myself.
Step 3 - Practice: Parenting is Practicing.
No dad is a perfect dad right from day one.
We all have things to work on.
Dadding is no different than putting the hours in at the gym, honing a craft, or improving a golf handicap.
It takes regular practice. Each interaction is an opportunity to practice and learn.
And hone those skills to become a Jedi master dad.
Step 4 - Keep stacking: Even if imperfect, a hot pancake with syrup and butter tastes great.
Be easy on yourself.
Kids are forgiving, so you can forgive yourself.
I make mistakes all the time.
The key is to keep moving and try to get better each day.
Don't beat yourself up because your kids won't beat you up for making a mistake.
So now I pass the spatula to you put in the prep, make sure you have the right utensils and the pan is hot, and keep flipping.
I’m A Billionaire
Billionaire?
That's not a word most of us would associate ourselves with.
Bold statement alert... I am a billionaire and you probably are too. Let me explain.
Billionaire.
That's not a word most of us would associate ourselves with.
Bold statement alert... I am a billionaire and you probably are too.
Let me explain.
I’m 42 and what this means is that I’m at the tail end of a majority of my most important relationships and important experiences.
For instance, 90% of my time with my parents has already been spent. I lived with them full-time until I was 18 and now, I might see them one weekend a month. Most of my time with them has been lived.
The reverse is true for my kids. Over the next ~18 years, I will have spent 90% of my time with my kids.
This is sobering but also motivating.
Tim Urban has visualized this concept of the Tail End. He visualizes all his favorite things showing how much he has already experienced them and how much time he likely has left to experience each.
If I live to my mid-80s I might only have 40 Autumns left with my wife and kids…I better find a way to relish each one.
We can also look at this through the lens of time. If we took our graphing calculator with a couple of quick strokes you would see how most of us are billionaires.
Not by the zeroes in our bank account but as a measure of time. We're all likely ‘time’ billionaires. 11 days is a million seconds and 31 years is a billion seconds. That means most of us are billionaires with the wealth of time, our most precious resource.
My takeaway:
Since I am on the tail-end of most of my most important relationships and experiences I better make the most of my time with my kids, especially fall hikes.
And I am rich. I likely have a billion seconds left and it is up to me how I use that billion to enrich my life and my kids and the lives of those around me.
P.S. This was one of our last fall hikes of the season. Check out that lil’ creeper in the background.
The Best Trait For Kid’s Success AND You Can Do It In Your Backyard
The best trait to teach your kids for long term success and you can do it in your own backyard.
Guess what?
Curiosity is essential to a kid’s growth.
It is also the best predictor of future success…said a bunch of smart people.
Beyond teaching them to not be afraid of everything, curious kids become kids with more scientific outlooks.
Basically, a curious kid is a kid who “seeks to fill knowledge gaps or uncertainty”.
But, what does this mean?
For a kid who seeks to fulfill knowledge gaps naturally, this mindset will encourage your kid to do what scientists do: Ask questions, and see if there are answers to these questions.
Basically, this curious mindset is just a stellar pathway to fostering little scientists.
But how?
Today, we are gonna present a two-step plan: Encourage, and Model Curiosity.
Encourage Curiosity
This is your time to put “no stupid questions” into practice.
As this week's source points out, a kid whose questions aren’t explored will stop asking them.
Which means,
If your kid asks a Q: have fun with it!
If you don’t know, the answer, explore it with him…
BONUS: The now popular Sesame Street song “I Wonder, What If, Let’s Try.” is a simple framework to guide curiosity.
This brings us to our next point:
Model Curiosity
Just like emotions, just like language: your kid will learn curiosity from you!
Example:
You guys are walking through a forest trail.
Your daughter points to a bug:
Opportunity Alert!
You say to her, “I wonder why that bug is red?”
What if…together brainstorm as many “what ifs” as you can, before you reach for your phone…no wrong answers here.
Once you get home, you keep the curiosity alive.
At home, your dear friend google teaches you guys that the bug is red to signify to predators…
“I'm poisonous! If you eat me …
Science.
Spark Notes
Encourage Curiosity: Always treat your kid's questions as worthy, and give them the time of day they deserve.
Model Curiosity: Show your kid what a curious person looks like, and how a curious person follows up on their questions.
Your Challenge
If your kid has any curious questions this week, explore one of them with ridiculous depth. See just how far down the rabbit hole you can go.
Equally, try to model one curious question. See if you can ask a question that makes your kid so curious that THEY become the encourager in the duo.
Why You Need To Invent Your Own Family Rituals
Radical Dadding: Fatherhood Against the Grain. Why Family Rituals are important and more tips on how to connect with your kids.
Think about Christmas time as a kid: what do you remember most?
It’s not the big things, but the little rituals that made it unique.
For example, maybe your family always opened a single present on Christmas eve.
Maybe your Dad would allow you to take a sip of his Miller High Life each Christmas….
It doesn’t matter!
In short, rituals are the seasoning that gives your family its unique flavor!
(Being corny is one of my daily rituals)
Most Americans celebrate Christmas, but only your family celebrates it in your own special way.
So, What Makes A Ritual Special, Anyways?
What makes a ritual special is its separation from normal life.
THAT is the most important part!
For your family ritual’s to really be impactful, they should be a break from what your family does normally.
Example:
You are a family which allows ZERO processed, sugary foods in the house.
Every spring break, the whole family has a movie night. You guys go to the grocery store together first, and each kid/parent gets to pick out two of the most unhealthy snacks that their heart desires.
What This Does For Your Family
Trust me, if you are a family of health nuts, this annual lapse in judgment will be met with huge anticipation!
Oftentimes, the best rituals are a little bit naughty. That’s why you remember that sip of beer your dad allowed you each Christmas: it was a break from the norm.
Family rituals are an amazing way to build a sense of identity for your family.
By inventing your own, your kid's childhood experience will be totally unique.
Think about it like this: the best rituals are the ones your kids will brag about to their friends at school.
That’s the Dadding challenge for today:
Think up a family ritual you can do that will make your kids so happy, they are gonna brag about it to their friends at school.
Just 5 Mins of This Can Boost Your Body’s Natural Drug
A 5 minute nature walk can boost your body’s natural drug and other self care tips, for dads that know self-care is the core to caring for your family.
It’s no secret that we Americans spend a lot of time indoors…
Look at this eye-opening statistic from the EPA:
“Americans, on average, spend approximately 90 percent of their time indoors.”
This isn’t our fault.
Some of us live way up north, where a leisurely lunchtime stroll is practically torture half of the year.
For the rest of us, we are busy!
That, combined with a national infrastructure built for cars means that here in the states, we must make a concerted effort to go walking.
But, what are the benefits…
The Benefits
To start, a daily walk of any sort is an excellent way to keep the blood flowing.
Second, let’s look at our homie Vitamin D: a daily walk outside gives us enough Vitamin D to help fight depression and even some forms of cancer.
Here is a quote from Lisa Nisbet, a professor of Psychology at Trent University:
“Generally the research tells us that when people are exposed to the natural environment and natural features, they tend to have a reduced stress response. When you are out in nature you have lower blood pressure, better heart rate variability, better mood”
Finally, it boosts our body’s natural drug, Serotonin, which has heaps of benefits (make you feel good and sleep better).
How To Get Your Nature Boost ASAP
In all of the previous research, if you dig deep, you will notice that these studies are based on more prolonged periods of exposure to nature: One Hour, 30 Minutes, etc…
What if I told you 5 minutes was you all needed to get most of the benefits?
In a study by Jo Barton at the University of Essex, the vast majority of benefits received from time spent in nature happen in the first five minutes.
And this includes urban nature like parks also!
So, what does this mean for you, busy dad?
If you want to receive the multitude of benefits of time spent in nature, but don’t know where to start, give yourself five minutes a day!
Or, if you are already a nature lover, but don’t have time that day for a huge hike, know that popping outside for 5 minutes is way better than nothing…
Go look at a tree or something, man!
How To Make Your Kid’s Book Learnin’ Geniuses
We all want our kids to be little geniuses.
The problem?
There is simply too much conflicting information surrounding the topic.
Thus, we aren’t going to focus on giving you an overview of every possible technique for making little geniuses.
Instead, we are going to focus on one thing that has been proven to be beneficial to your children’s cognitive growth: Story Time.
More importantly, we will give you our adaptation of the method developed by The Stony Brook Reading and Language Project to ensure your readings have the maximum cognitive benefits.
But we are gonna change it up to make it less, Uhmmm, science-y. If you want to read about their method, click here.
Otherwise, read along for our SparkNotes.
The Ask And Repeat Method
“And then Moe gave me a hyuuuuuuuuge beer…”
Not all stories are created equal.
While reading to your kid is always good, to get the most benefit from storytime, we would like to introduce you to a technique that encourages your kids to become the storyteller themselves.
This is not a listening exercise, but a conversation!
Here are the steps. Don’t worry, an example ahead!
Also, yes, we know we don’t have a catchy acronym. Just remember to Ask and Repeat, and treat these steps as a loose guideline.
Ask
Ask your child a question about the story.
Review
Review your child’s response.
This will shape your response in the next section.
Add To
Here, ask your child another questions about the story.
Repeat
Have your child repeat your ‘add’.
An Example of Ask And Repeat!
You’re reading a book about cats and their varied emotional states.
In the book, there is a photo of a cat looking incredibly sad.
Ask (a question):
You: What’s in this photo?
Kid: “A cat”
Size Up:
You: Yes, my kid is correct! Wow, we’ve got a genius on our hands.
Add To:
“Yes, you identified it’s a cat! What do you notice about that cat?”. They might say “it looks sad” or “it’s white”.
Repeat:
“Can you say that’s a sad, white cat?”
“It’s a sad, white cat, dad!”
The Benefits Of Ask and Repeat Reading
Do not fear the large-headed child(he is learning)
The most obvious: by making reading an interactive experience, your kid will have more fun, and be more engaged.
While your kid is engaged, they are learning two important things: Vocab, and how to interact with a story.
The vocab aspect is obvious: as they expand their answer or you might need to introduce new words.
The other aspect is less obvious: by having a conversation with them about the book, you are teaching them how to think critically about a book.
Look. This isn’t some hair-brained idea we invented.
This is hard science that we’ve adapted to make it easier to understand and implement.
So.
Make Story Time
More Fun
More Beneficial to their little noggins.
Go make a little Jimmy Neutron!
How Gratitude Changes Your Brain and Relationships
How Gratitude Changes Your Brain and Relationships
If you are not a busy person, congratulations!
For the rest of us stuck on planet Earth:
Life is a GRIND sometimes. And with that,
We lose track of what is REALLY important.
Our families.
A gratitude list is a way to realign and recenter our mindset.
So, What Is A Gratitude List?
Exactly what it sounds like…
Every day, you take 5-10 minutes to sit down and write out everything you are grateful for.
Nothing is too small.
Rather, it can be an incredibly humbling experience to start small.
For example:
Write out: I am thankful to have a warm home.
And afterwards, try to remember why you were so mad at your wife for forgetting to wash your underwear.
Not impossible to still be mad… Just a lot harder.
A Long-term Shift in Mindset
*Galaxy Brain Mindset Not Included With Newsletter
With time, you will begin to be able to reframe difficulties in your life as blessings or opportunities.
Example:
“I hate losing weight, it’s so hard”
can shift into:
“I am grateful I have the opportunity to take control of my health.”
Improved Prioritization
As you continue to write your lists, it will start to become abundantly clear what in your life is most important, and what you should spend your energy pursuing.
Family Time
I can promise you this: unless you are an evil freak, a daily gratitude list will make you more patient with your family! They will notice it, even if you don’t tell them about your list.
How To Start One
Don’t overthink this,
This isn’t rocket science.
Write this from the heart!
If it is easier, write it in bullet points.
Give yourself 5 minutes. If you want to go longer, do it!
If you are having difficulties, push through for that five minutes!
Don’t worry about finding the perfect thing to be grateful for.
As you continue to expand your gratitude practice, the trends will appear automatically.
Remember: this is for yourself! Nobody else is going to read this.
This is a place to be vulnerable, and remind yourself what amazing things you have in your life.
P.S. Oh by the way if you are like me and your life lives on your phone (can’t find a pen and paper) here’s a quick start…I use gratitude journal app(again not an Ad, just a fan).
P.S.S Research shows there might be an even more effective gratitude practice (an action repeated, to create a habit) using the power of story (~1.5hr podcast).