The Five-Step Art of A Family Dinner Convo
“Instruction was splendid, pa-pah”
Do your dinner conversations sound like this?
“How was school today?”
Good.
“Anything fun happen?”
Nope. Normal.
Let’s take a step back.
The fact that you are having a dinner conversation is awesome!
Eating together is not simply family bonding time. According to Harvard,
“Regular family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression, and anxiety, and substance abuse, and eating disorders, and tobacco use, and early teenage pregnancy, and higher rates of resilience and higher self esteem.”
Ok! You’ve got the family dinner down, but you want to have more, let’s say, engaging conversation.
Here is a five-step guide to asking your kids questions they will be excited to answer.
This isn’t a formula; think of this more as a framework. If you feel like getting crazy and modifying it, do it! It will probably keep your little conversationalists on their toes.
HiLoFunFailFav
I apologize for the awkward mnemonic device, but if you say it fast, it does(kinda) roll off the tongue.
As I said, this isn’t a formula to spit at your kids. This is a framework for you to use!
Hi-Highlight of The Day
Here, you give your kids the opportunity to tell you what made their day awesome, if only for a moment.
Examples:
What was the best part of your day? (and you aren’t allowed to say “going home!”)
Did you learn anything today that blew your mind?
Did you see any squirrels water skiing?
Lo-Lowlight Of The Day
Time to let your kid get Emo
Give your kids the opportunity to act like an adult, and complain.
Examples:
What SUCKED about today?
What’s the most USELESS thing you learned today?
If you could do today over again, what would you leave in the past?
Fun-Funniest Thing That Happened At School
Let’s see them try to make us learn…
Give your kid the chance to show off his storytelling skills.
Example:
What was the CRAZIEST thing you saw at school today?
What made you ROFL today?
P.S. (Don’t worry I had to look up what it meant)
P.S.S (Yes, be a corny dad and say “ROFL” out loud, like roff-all).
Fail-Failure Of The Day
Get like Mike!
Here, you give your kids the opportunity to show you they understand failure is normal. This is also a perfect opportunity to start by modeling this question.
EXAMPLE OF MODELING:
Today I had such a hard time finding the right words for this blog post. It felt like my brain was deep-fried. After I meditated though, I felt way better and crushed it in like 45 minutes. What about you guys?
WHAT YOU ASK AFTER MODELING:
Did you get stuck at all today?
What was super hard in class today?
Fav-Favorite Food/Drink
Might as well be a 3 michelin star meal…
Ok, this one is an easy home run. No explanation needed.
Example:
What was the BEST thing you ate today?
Did you drink anything DELICIOUS at school?
How To Use It
This isn’t a checklist in which you have to hit each category in order. This is a tool: if the conversation is flagging, come back to it for guidance.
Oh by the way…
Don’t forget to give them a chance…awkward silence is what brilliance is made of…
Now go engage those little monsters! Make them spill their guts. If they are hesitant, show them how! Model how a conversation works. You are already doing the right thing by having a family dinner, now make it fun!
