Debunked: Why 10,000 Hours Is NOT the Ticket to Success—Here's What Is

Here’s my contrarian take. The 10,000 hours is bullshit.

The best odds for success…

Skill Stacking.

But let's first look at the popular wisdom of the 10,000 hours (made popular by Malcolm Gladwell).

How many people do you know who are truly experts or masters in their field?

Think about it.

How many kids play soccer, hockey, basketball or dance from 5 years old through high school (definitely over 10,000 hours)?

How many become pro?

One study found the percentage was .023%.

The most overlooked approach is stacking a unique combo of skills.

Skill Stacking.

What is skill stacking?

Remember Mega Man and how every time he defeated a new villain, he was able to copy that villain's special weapon.

And eventually, by acquiring all these special abilities, he was able to defeat Dr. Wily.

This is the same as skill stacking.

Another analogy for skill stacking is how my daughter puts together her ensemble.

On the surface, each item looks to be unrelated and seems to clash.

But once complete, she emerges as a strong and capable superhero who can accomplish anything.

The great thing is you don’t have to be an expert in any one of them.

By creating a combo of unique skills it can be a cheat code to success.

One of my favorite business personalities is Codie Sanchez.

Her skill stack has made her a boring business-buying powerhouse (and multi-millionaire).

She started a career as a journalist (writing) at the US-Mexico border, covering human trafficking and giving a voice to the unknown.

She realized that what put these victims in the position was the lack of money.

She then went into Mergers and Acquisitions (finance) at Goldman Sachs, a fancy way of saying she learned to get a good deal when buying a business.

She then began to focus on small businesses, the types of businesses that Goldman wasn’t focusing on (small business expertise).

Stacking these skills ‘Writing’ + ‘Finance’ + ‘Small Business Expertise’ has allowed her to write the book on how to buy small businesses.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my skill stack. And honestly, I wish I would have thought about it more when I was younger.

But I’m excited to encourage my kids to think about their Skill Stack for success.

I’m of the opinion there are two types of skills that should be included in our skill stack

1) Practical skills: writing, sales, communication and

2) Unique skills: arborist, improv, sommelier, permaculturist, puzzle-solving, etc.

The unique skills I would describe as obscure passions.

The skill stack that creates the most value for me is:

healthcare strategy consulting + B2B sales + writing.

I’m not a master of any of these, but together they make me marketable and make me money.

What obscure hobby do your children have that should be part of a skill stack?

Parenting Is Like Hitting A Wall

Parenting is like climbing a rock wall.

It requires a partner, the belayer (at least to do it safely).

It’s extremely fatiguing (it can hurt like hell).

But when you make progress, you lock it in (climbing uses anchors aka belays)

And the hope is that it was worth it once you get to the top.

I mean, I’ve never met a dad who has been through it and doesn’t say it was worth it.

They could be lying, but I won’t know til I get to the top.

“on belay!” (the command in climbing, letting your partner know you are ready to climb)

Temperament: The Secret To Parenting

This is a picture of my youngest, and she shares my temperament (sanguine).

I get her and she is easy for me to parent.

My son has a very different temperament. One that neither my wife or I share.

And largely because of his different temperament, it has encouraged us to read over 20 parenting books with titles like “Parenting With Zen”.

And I’ll be honest I’ve not figured out how to always parent with zen.

But there is one book that has helped me unlock a cheat code to parenting.

And given me a new way to look at how I interact with each of my kids.

That secret is knowing and understanding our child’s temperament.

Here are my takeaways from reading "The Temperament God Gave Your Kids" by Art and Laraine Bennett so you don’t have to read it.

1/ Temperament Is Nature Not Nurture.

Man, did this give me relief.

If you are like me, I sometimes get embarrassed by my kids behavior in public or around family and friends.

Whether they are too shy to engage or too loud and trying to be the center of attention or too aggressive and like to pull out the Mike Tyson uppercut.

It isn’t something I did or didn’t do as a parent…its’s just their nature.

2/ Knowledge Is Power

The Bennetts explain that understanding your kid's temperament is like knowing the dance steps to their unique rhythm.

So, what are these temperaments?

According to the Bennetts, psychologists have found there are 4 types of temperaments, and every child is born with some combination of these 4.

Like a buffet table of personality flavors: sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic.

Here is a table of each temperament and a description:

Each child is some mix of these, and figuring out their combo is like finding the right playlist for their mood.

For example, my sanguine sweetheart might be the next stand-up comedian.

While my melancholic munchkin could write soul-stirring poetry.

So instead of dragging my introverted child to every soccer game or expecting my extrovert to read quietly for hours, I’m learning to embrace their innate talents.

Nurture their strengths while gently encouraging them to dip their toes into new waters.

3/ The Role Of A Parent Is Special

Let’s take tantrums as a super fun example.

Those unpredictable storms that sweep through even the sunniest of days.

Understanding my child's temperament can help weather these emotional hurricanes.

As a parent, I have the unique role of understanding my child, their temperament and teaching them mechanisms to express and get control of their emotions.

A choleric child's meltdown might be about control, while a phlegmatic little one just wants a cozy corner to curl up in.

Armed with this knowledge, I can tailor my tactics.

For example, if my sanguine’s spirit is spiraling, an engaging distraction might work wonders.

On the other hand, if my melancholic cherub is in the throes of despair, a comforting hug and a listening ear could do the trick.

4/ And For The Next Playdate

Playdates can be a circus act of juggling personalities, preferences, and patience.

Sanguines are the party planners, ensuring fun and games galore.

Cholerics are natural leaders, ready to organize and take charge.

Melancholics add depth to the conversation, contributing thoughtful insights.

And phlegmatics? They're the peacekeepers, making sure everyone gets along.

So let my sanguine sprinkle a dash of excitement, my choleric guide the games, my melancholic deepen the discussions, and for phlegmatic (we do not have one of these “easy” kids) ensure harmony reigns.

5/ A Strength Gone To Far Is A Challenge

As parents, our role is to give our kids the ability to express and eventually handle their emotions in a healthy way.

To find the strength in their temperament.

For my choleric son wants to be in control and prefers aggression over finding agreement.

I have to understand that his outbursts are not personal and not caused by something I did or didn’t do.

And my responsibility is to coach him on how to find the strengths in his temperament like leadership and determination versus control and aggression.

Parenting is an adventure.

It truly teaches me something about myself everyday.

With this newfound knowledge, I feel more equipped to navigate the challenges, celebrate their strengths, and dance to the rhythm of their personalities.

Lets Go!!!

The 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of A Father-Daughter Roadtrip

I’m a girl dad.

I have two daughters.

I met a dad whose daughters were now in their early 30s. He shared with me his favorite way to connect with his daughter as they got older and too cool for school was a father-daughter trip.

He said he allowed each of his children to choose the destination.

They could go anywhere they were interested, just him and her.

He did it in middle school before their idea of fun was an Instagram trip to the Maldives.

My girls aren’t old enough yet but I imagine one day I will do a road trip with each of my girls to a destination of their choice.

Here are the 9 DOs and DON’Ts, as a reminder to myself for my future father-daughter road trips.

DO: Make Your Daughter Lead Navigator

Make her your co-pilot by making her your navigator so she feels a part of the journey and not just a passenger.

DON’T: Be The Roadtrip Dictator

Try not to say ‘no’. If she asks you to do something you don’t like, try using “yes” “and” adding the thing you daddio want to do.

Example: Daughter says, “let’s get a manicure!” You: “Yes and let’s go to a driving range after and hit a bucket o’ balls.”

DO: Allow Time For Spontaneous Adventure

This may be the most important reminder. Leave some extra time so that you can stop, make a detour, or stay a little extra time in one place.

This ‘do’ allows for unexpected experiences that create the stories that will last the test of time.

DON’T: Pass Through A Major City During Rush Hour

Nothing kills the excitement of a road trip more than traffic. Avoid it by avoiding major cities during rush hour.

DO: Take A Peek Under The Hood Before Embarking

Make sure the oil is changed and the fluids are topped up. Preventative maintenance is crucial to avoid waiting on the roadside for a tow truck.

DON’T: Be A Cheapskate

Ok, I’m not saying you go ‘Crazy Rich Asian’ but don’t be a cheapskate…splurge just a little.

DO: Bring Camping Supplies!

And mix it up.

Don’t just stay in hotels and eat at the Cracker Barrell across the parking lot.

Bring some camping gear, cook over a campfire, and fall asleep to the smell of smoke in your hair—nothing better than fresh air and shooing away raccoons all night.

DON’T: Check Your Emails

Let the road trip be for you and your daughter.

Work will be waiting for you when you return.

Only use your phone for navigation or a hot tip or two.

Don’t check email, nothing in that email will be more important than the time you have with your daughter.

DO: Give Your Kid Disposable Cameras and Hire Him As Your Photographer

Or an old phone so they can ONLY take pictures and document the adventure.

One day on your Alexa or Google Home you will see those pictures and the memories will come flooding back.

BONUS: DO NOT USE THE ROAD-TRIP TO GIVE “THE TALK”

No explanation needed. That sounds uncomfortable.

Be present. Do it together. Be curious. Be open. And don’t push an agenda.

Dads, The Real Reason You Don’t Have A Hobby

I love to be outside; biking, hiking, fishing, foraging or hunting but these hobbies take time and commitment.

Extra time is like that mythical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow guarded by a tricky leprechaun…it don’t exist.

And Netflix is not a hobby...(Why do I always spend more time browsing for a show than actually watching???)

So what I found is trying not to overcomplicate it...hobbies don't have to be some complex or time-consuming.

Actually, it should be something that takes very little time so I can find a way to squeeze it in each day.

A hobby has a multitude of benefits…but before I lay out the benefits, lets first define what a hobby is.

A hobby is something that requires active participation (i.e. Shooting Hoops).

Something that is not a hobby is something that involves passive participation (i.e. binging Netflix).

I’m not bashing Netflix because I love a good binge-watch from time to time. We crushed Stranger Things this past winter (I still have Kate Bush singing “Be runnin' up that hill” stuck in my head)

A hobby is important because:

It puts us dads into a state of flow...which is like a massage for our brains (here’s the science to prove it).

You may ask:

If hobbies are so good for my brain and I have so little time how can I possibly find a hobby?

Return to your childhood...what did you love as a boy?

Loved to ride your bike as a kid?

Take 15 minutes a night to go on a solitary ride. Leave your phone at home. Push yourself to ride as fast as possible.

Loved to fill the margins of your notebooks with doodles?

Doodle! Throw on headphones with a favorite album, and let time melt away.

Loved exploring the woods as a boy?

Go explore again! As long as you are taking an active role in your life, you will feel the benefits.

Loved throwing a ball against a wall?

Go outside and throw a ball against the wall. Your neighbor might think you’ve gone mad but your brain will thank you.

Disclaimer:

I am not saying to avoid taking up a difficult, expertise-laden hobby.

This is dedicated to those who want a hobby, but end up watching TV every night.

Life isn’t all-or-nothing.

By making a small change towards active participation, you might find yourself invigorated enough to embark on a journey to learn how to make ships-in-a-bottle.

I Realized I Was Missing Something

Being a dad, for me, is a serious responsibility.

I think my greatest responsibility, as I’m sure you can tell.

My wife and I live and breathe clean up all the messes of parenting

It often feels like a job.

My good intentions; to see my kids turn out as respectful and kid adults has me trying hard.

My effort and laser focus might actually be making things harder.

Like an athlete who gets into a slump and then tries even harder but actually makes it worse.

That’s how I’ve been feeling about my parenting right now…I’m just trying too hard.

This realization has pushed me to test out a new approach.

Instead, I’m trying to have more fun with it.

I was trying to see every moment as a chance to guide them to be more kind, resilient and independent children.

Now.

I’m just having fun.

So when one of my kids does something I don’t like, instead of correcting them I’m trying to find a way to have fun with it first so we can connect.

Once we have connected, then I can find a way to guide them.

This past weekend we laughed a lot…and it seems my attitude shift might be helping.

I hope to spend more time experiencing them and less time trying so hard to get the outcome.

How are you feeling as a dad? Do you, like me, take parenting seriously (maybe too seriously)? Or have you found ways to have fun with it?

Escaping Is The Key To Upping Your Dad Game

Life as a dad, husband, and professional can sometimes feel like a never-ending Mario Kart race.

Each morning I can almost hear the ping ping ping piiiiiiiiiiing (Mario Kart) and then, boom, it's off to the races!

In my house, it's a daily Mario Kart rally.

My three zooming around like Mario and his pals, leaving a trail of banana peels (a.k.a. toys) and koopa shells (those dreaded Legos) in their wake.

It's a mix of chaos and fun, and it can be flat-out exhausting when it goes on for weeks and weeks.

Now, here's an eye-opening statistic: 43% of families live 200 miles or more away from their grandparents, and a majority live at least 50 miles away.

Why is this important?

Well, in the good ol' days, grandparents played a big role in providing secondary care for families.

I remember spending several days a week with my grandparents during the summer.

They were like the pit stop in our Mario Kart race, giving us a much-needed breather.

But times have changed.

Modern parents don't get enough of a break.

It's like slipping on a banana peel and getting hit with a koopa shell as we spin off the track.

Ouch!

And you know what suffers the most from this kart crash?

Our relationship with our spouse.

It takes a hit, and we feel it.

That's why my wife and I have made it a priority to invest in our relationship.

We've discovered a secret weapon—getting away from it all.

Yes, my fellow dads, it's time to plan those much-needed escapes, at least once, or even better, twice a year.

I know, it's easier said than done, especially during that first year with a new baby when they're attached to your wife's boobies.

But trust me; you'll get through that phase.

We're excited because we're about to go on our first long weekend away from all three kids since our youngest entered this world last February.

It's been too long.

We're strapping our little ones in the van and channeling our inner Walter Sobchak (think The Big Lebowski) by slowing down to 15 M P H and rolling them onto their grandparents' front lawn.

They need it, and we need it too.

Our goal is simple: we want to return from this adventure feeling more connected and refreshed, ready to tackle the next several levels of our Mario Kart race.

So fellow dads, I'm curious: what ways have you found to connect and invest in your relationship with your spouse?

Secrets to Being an Epic Dad - Insights from a Year of Writing Daily

This week’s newsletter is a celebration and a reflection on a year of daily writing. Let's dive in!

First, I can’t believe how fast a year went. This is my 53rd newsletter since I started on July 1, 2022.

I'm incredibly grateful to all of you who have been part of this journey.

Throughout this past year, the practice of working on myself, writing every day and sharing content multiple times a week has taught me invaluable lessons.

It has made me a better dad, husband, son, friend, and colleague.

It's like embarking on a backyard landscaping project—sometimes ambiguous, seemingly never-ending, but once you take the first step, the results are astonishing and inspire you to do even more.

The effort I've invested in self-work has paid off in countless ways.

I feel healthier, more composed (well, most of the time), and deeply connected with myself and my loved ones.

I've also found that I communicate more clearly, which has strengthened my relationships.

All the self-work (including things like meditation and gratitude journaling), I found these three things are my favorite:

1\ I wake up early to indulge in an hour of quiet time for myself—reading, writing, or simply enjoying the tranquility.

2\ I stick to my five-day-a-week gym routine, which has had a tremendous impact on my overall well-being.

3\ Writing daily has become a release, allowing me to express my thoughts and work through the anxieties of life and fatherhood.

So after one year I figured I would set some intentions for the next year.

1\ I intend to maintain my consistency with quiet time, hitting the gym, and writing. These practices have become the pillars of my self-improvement journey, and I can't wait to see where they take me.

2\ I've realized that I've fallen into a pattern of consuming news or watching YouTube shorts more mornings before heading to the gym. To break this habit, I'm committing to reading more. It's time to fill my mornings with enriching books that ignite my imagination and broaden my perspectives.

3\ I've set my sights on that money. Well more specifically, financial sovereignty. I firmly believe that achieving true freedom of time for myself, my family, and the things I love—like fishing, foraging, hunting, and traveling—requires a greater focus on financial freedom.

Over the next year, I will embark on a journey to find, evaluate, and eventually purchase a profitable business. This endeavor feels particularly timely, given the wave of retiring business owners.

If you're interested in joining me on this adventure, let me know, and I'll provide updates every 4 to 6 weeks.

Thank you again for being part of my writing journey.

Your support and engagement have been invaluable, and I'm excited to continue sharing my experiences and insights with you all. Stay tuned for more and keep those dad jokes alive!

Cheers,

Matt

TBH, my weekend, it sucked.

TBH, my weekend, it sucked.

Saturday morning began with me twiddling my thumbs, waiting for our adorable 3-year-old to rise from her slumber.

And boy, did she take their sweet time—didn't pop up until a glorious 10 a.m.

The rest of the day? A whirlwind of backbreaking yard work. Picture me hauling rocks, moving an ancient fence I dismantled, and triumphantly assembling a brand-new trampoline.

But instead of basking in the results by going on a tranquil hike or some well-deserved relaxation, our eldest fell ill faster than a bowling ball in a kiddie pool. Poor kiddo.

When we finally got the kids to bed and thought we could savor a moment of husband-and-wife time, our son woke up, and the next two hours were a chaotic symphony of puking.

And the icing on the cake, my early morning fishing plans...dashed.

Courtesy of my son's heroic performance of vomiting and, uh, other unmentionables.

And our other two bundles of joy decided to treat us to a chorus of "wake ups" throughout the night (a blowout diaper and several "I'm scared").

But you know what? Looking back on it, I realize something. This rollercoaster of a weekend reminded me of the true essence of being called "Dad."

🧡 We care.

🛠 We build.

💥 We provide.

💪 We summon our strength.

You know what? Scratch that my weekend didn't suck. In fact, it was pretty darn incredible.

Sure, I didn't get to do what I had planned, but I got to fully embrace the magnificent role of a dad—the sleepless nights, the unexpected messes, the comforting whispers in the dark.

It's a true testament to the power of fatherhood.

So, maybe your weekend wasn't all rainbows and unicorns either, but I have a hunch that amidst the chaos, you shone brilliantly as a dad.

Let's celebrate the journey of fatherhood together!

P.S. Pic of my two bundles of joy I devoted extra attention to this weekend.

The Best Investment

The most underrated investment.  

Yourself. 

Here are 5 simple ways to invest in yourself.

And...

10x your returns which include…

better health, more time with loved ones and yep...

Money! 

This post by ‘Contrarian Thinker’ Codie Sanchez drives home the missed opportunity of not investing in yourself.  

I'm guilty of spending money where the ROI isn’t as big or is zero. 

"Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you." Robin S. Sharma

Investing in yourself will advance your career, help you achieve better health, and discover new income streams. 

It will also improve those around you, especially your family. 

Example:

I’ve been focusing on my health for 8 months now.  

I'm healthier, have more energy and am more present.

Now, my amazing wife got in on the action. 

She started a 4 day a week workout routine for the first time in her life and she has become an unprocessed foodie (healthy and tasty whole foods.)

She makes us the healthiest and tastiest meals all week long. 

And now our kids are getting the best version of mom and dad because we are healthier and more present!

The 5 easy ways I found to invest in myself and reap the magic of compounding returns: 

1/ Hire a coach.  

Someone that can help you succeed because they have been there and done that. 

Who can show you how to succeed.  

A good coach gives you the map and challenges you.

But doesn’t do it for you. 

This past year I found fitness coaches (shout out to my coaches Kyler and Aaron).    

One of my best investments in the last 5 years.   

I’m now harder to kill (lost 25lbs and cut my risk of dying by 67% according to a heart risk calculator).

You can also hire a coach to learn a new hobby or improve practical skills.  

The investment in a coach will level up your game. 

And the results are priceless. 

2/ Take a course or training. 

I’m a lifelong learner, but I was more willing to spend a couple grand on a vacation than on a course that could improve my skills or teach me something new. 

The challenge for me since leaving college was what kind of course should I take?

Here’s where to start, borrowed from Cody Sanchez, but applied to learning.  

The best place to start is by finding something you're curious about and have been interested in learning more about for at least a year.  

Find a skill people are willing to pay for. 

And something where there is a community you can plug into, whether that be locally, on reddit, discord, etc.

It doesn’t always have to be skills that pay the bills.  

It could be an obscure hobby or skill that just improves your life by being good for your brain. 

We must have something that requires active participation that can send our brains into flow.

Flow is like a sweet, sweet massage for the brain. 

And just maybe… 

When a new skill is stacked with your existing skills, it could also impact your earnings. 

Start with what you’re curious about and

make a splash.  

3/ Prioritize learning experiences

This kind of goes along with investing $2k in a training vs. a vacation. 

What if you could do both? 

Our last vacation I planned around a tech conference.  

I invested $1000 in the conference plus the travel to a new country so I could learn about emerging tech trends from experts. 

It was both a vacation and a learning experience.  

My son even joined me and the memories and learning were priceless. 

My lil’ man with AR/VR headsets at the WebSummitt in Lisbon, Portugal.  

4/ Get a certification

Jobs, roles and opportunities are changing so quickly.  

Four-year degrees can’t adapt quickly enough. 

The best way to adapt to the pace of change and prove it is…

To get a certification.

Last year I got two (blockchain and AWS cloud practitioner).

This year I’m gunning for one (robot-related). 

Certifications usually require a test that demonstrates mastery of a topic. 

In IT there are cloud certs (architect, data engineer, etc.), AI certs (prompt engineers) and security certs(CISSP).

And for non-technical, there are project management, HR, and marketing certs.

Even hands-on fields have valuable certs (rad tech, dental assistant, building inspector, aircraft tech, and a slew of green job certs). 

No matter what field you are in there is likely a cert for you.  

5/ Over-index on health.

We’ve all heard the stories of people working their whole life to retire and do what they want and…

then they die without getting to enjoy the fruits of their labor.  Sorry to be grim but it’s true.   

Investing in health now significantly reduces the risk of poor health later.  

My health has been the best investment for me and my family.

It has been a foundation of positive change. 

What ways have you found to invest in yourself?

I Wish These Existed

I wish these existed.

I would pay a small fortune. 

Being a dad can be tough. 

After a Spring Break vacation filled with carting, loading, wiping, and carrying three kids...

It got me thinking (ok fantasizing) about things that would make life as a dad…

just a wee bit easier.

Here are the 12 things I wish existed as a dad of 3 kids under 5.

1/ “Magnetic onesie”  

A baby onesie that clasps shut like a magnetic screen door.  

As soon as you pull those little baby legs and arms through the sleeves…

The magnet does the rest and snaps that baby shut.

2/ “Blowout-proof diaper” 

How many times has a baby blowout tipped your day into chaos (it always happens at the most inopportune time)?

We need diapers that are impervious to a blowout (catch all the poop no matter what) 

What a world it would be if things were blowout free.

3/ “The Slap Diaper” 

A diaper that works like one of those slap bracelets.  

As soon as that baby bottom lands near, it just snaps on.  

No more diaper wrestling. 

4/ “Toddler translator” 

I’m convinced toddlers are from another planet.  

And my inability to understand their language usually ends in toddler rage.  

What if a translator could tell us, dads, exactly what our little aliens want?

5/ “Slime-Resistant Shirt” 

I lost count of how many times I peeked in the mirror and I looked like Venkman from Ghostbusters. 

My shirt covered in snot or spit up.  

I need a shirt where the upper half is like Teflon, nothing sticks to it…

That would totally transform my daily appearance.  

6/ “Undo button”

Oh man, I’ve been saved so many times by Ctrl-Z (undo) on a computer.  

What if life with kids had an undo button? 

I would use it like Michael Scott overuses “that’s what she said”.

7/ “Pause Button”

You’re in the trenches changing a diaper and putting out a few fires.  

You just need 15 minutes to pull yourself together.  

It would be great if life had a 15-minute pause button where my kids would stop and I could pull myself together and soak it up…just 15 minutes. 

8/ “Buddy button” 

Sometimes I need a rip cord to stop the free fall and find a fellow war hero (a buddy) to share my stories of the trenches with.  

It would be great if there were an SOS app that could find another buddy that at that moment was also ready to get away.   

9/ “Sleep dust” 

Yes, there is melatonin (and whiskey) but they have negative long-term side effects when used as sleep aids.  

I would love some dust (a pan) I could slam (sprinkle) my 2-year-old with at bedtime so she would…

To steal a line from Adam Mansbach “Go the F⚪k to sleep”. 

10/ “Nighttime Nanny” 

I call my middle a werewolf.  

Every time there is a full moon (or a moon in any phase) she creeps into our room for the umpteenth time and needs to be walked back to bed.   

After these long nights, I wake up feeling like a drank a case of beer. 

It would be great if someone or something could walk my little werewolf back to bed, tuck her in so I could get some dreamy sleep.  

11/ “Remote Relocator”

If you’re like our family, we limit TV for our kids but they crave it like addicts.

So many times, we’ve hidden the remote like a squirrel, and couldn’t remember which hole in the yard it was in.  

All we need is a remote that is equipped with an “I’m here” function so we could find it when we needed it. 

12/ "Self-Cleaning Car" 

Our van looks like an Atlantic City beach; covered in sand, wrappers, and old discarded toys.  

It would be great to have a car that can automatically clean itself inside and out, 

so I don’t feel guilty about my wife's daily trip with the Jersey Shore. 

My takeaway:

If only these things existed, they would make dadding a little easier.  

And I would pay a small fortune.

Tinkerers, inventors, and entrepreneurs, let me know if you come up with any of these.  

Dads, what did I miss?

Dads with older kids, are there inventions I will need as my kids age?

Dads, Don’t Make This Common Mistake

Dads, stop making this common mistake that might prevent your kids from thriving.  

We all want to raise confident and independent kids. 

But, like me, you’ve probably used this common, seemingly harmless phrase. 

And it might be planting seeds of doubt and fear in our kids.  

The great thing is there is a simple fix.  

But first, the seemingly benign phrase.

“Be careful.” 

 Each time we say “be careful,” what we’re really saying is;

“Hey, I'm afraid (fear) you’re going to get hurt,” and “you’re not capable of thinking about the risk, and you need me to remind you.”

Trust me, I’ve said it, but I try not to because…

By saying “be careful,” we’re subtly reinforcing that we fear things and our kids should too. 

And we lack trust in their ability to navigate life.   

The result is unnecessary anxiety.  

Of course, none of us wake up in the morning and declare, “how can I make my kids more anxious, afraid, and a little less confident.”  

We all want to raise confident, independent little explorers.

AND we want them to grow up with all their limbs, intact.  

So here’s the easy fix. 

Instead of “be careful” 

Say, “what's your plan?” 

But you might think, what if my kid is barrelling toward boiling water? 

Or dashing for the busy street.  That’s not good, right?   

There is a solution for this too.  But first, here’s why “what’s your plan?” is the fix.

By using ‘what’s your plan” instead of “be careful,” you’re getting your kids to think about their actions, what they are trying to do, and the potential outcome. 

Our goal as parents should be for our kids to assess risk independently.  

Not to avoid risk. 

Especially as they enter a future that will likely look very different than the one we live in. 

With tech changing things daily, our kids will need to be great at assessing risk rather than avoiding it.  

If they still don’t see the inherent risk in climbing to the top of a dead tree.  

We might add a follow-up question like how are you going to make sure the limb doesn’t break beneath you or how are you going to get down?

This gets them to anticipate and think through potential obstacles or failure points. 

Now back to them in immediate danger, like barrelling toward boiling water or dashing for a busy street. 

When we dads are babysitting our kids (my wife says, “you don’t ‘babysit’ your own kids”), it is our job to keep them safe.  

Sometimes we need to swoop in like superman and save them but then take the time to reflect.  

I would argue this is rare, but sometimes our kids have a lapse in judgment and decide they want to play frogger with traffic.  

Once you save them, don’t yell.  

Simply ask them if they understand why you swooped in.  

Ask them what might have happened if you let them complete the action.

Then explain to them how we need to respect things that could hurt us.   

Takeaway:

So the next time you go to say, “be careful,” catch yourself and ask your child, “what’s your plan?”  

They will likely look at you like you have six heads because they are used to hearing “be careful.” 

Consistently taking the “what’s your plan?” approach will give them the confidence to independently assess the risk of things. 

They will be more confident, independent, and ready to take on risks. 

Because if they’re avoiding risk, they’re avoiding success. 

The One Unexpected KEY To Health and Longevity

Scientists found one unexpected and often neglected aspect of life that might be the key to health and longevity.

No, it's not eating like a rabbit (vegan diet).

Or being a supplement freak like Dr. Oz.

Or exercising with great gusto like Richard Simons.

Research shows that having a pack (a group of friends) may be as important to wellness as eating, exercising, and sleeping.

Aussie researchers did a study.

They sent friends into the outback with a large knife, a leather vest, and a crocodile hat…

Oops wrong study.

The scientists from the land down under did research over 10-years and found:

Older people who reported having ‘a lot of friends’ were 22 percent less likely to die during the study than those who had ‘few friends’.

That's great, but as I get older, making new friends and keeping the old ones gets more challenging.

My kids and their activities can be like Kryptonite to friendships…

Slowly weakening and eventually zapping my time and energy.

Sometimes I feel like Christopher Reeves (Superman) wearing the Kryptonite necklace in the pool scene.

Here are the 6 antidotes for finding the rejuvenating power of friends:

1/ Annual Guys Trip

Get it on the calendar.

The same time each year.

This way, your wife knows to avoid planning a honey-do list that weekend.

And by planning it around the same weekend every year, you and your buddies will get that Christmas morning-like anticipation.

Eventually, it will become a tradition and make getting coverage for the kids easier.

Nothing is better for a bromance than bonding over a solid weekend of shooting guns, fishing, and drinking beer (am I right?)

2/ Play text roulette

Scroll through your phone and shoot a couple of old buddies a text.

One of those texts might land and reignite an old flame (not romantically).

It might lead to catching a pint, having a coffee or even an invigorating hike.

It is a great way to reconnect in your new phase of life.

3/ Start a dad fraternity

Billy Baker, the author of “We Need to Hang Out,” felt he didn’t have a buddy he could call if his furnace went out in the middle of winter.

So to find that dude, he started a dad-ternity (a fraternity of fellow dads).

I know what you’re imagining;

That scene from Old School when Frank The Tank (Will Ferrell) bongs a few beers and ends up running through the diag naked.

Well, it wasn’t quite this kind of fraternity.

It was more of a weekly get-together with other neighborhood dads, creating deep connections, and so they could find their ICE dudes (In Case of Emergency).

4/ Invite a buddy to something you already have planned

I’ve got a buddy that is great at this.

I get random messages when:

He is headed out on the water to land some fish.

Or he’s jumping on his bike to make a quick mountain biking loop after work.

Even if I can’t join, I know I can count on him if I’m ever looking for a partner in crime.

5/ Get mushy

OK this sounds a little weird.

But hear me out.

If you had a great time with an old buddy or a new friend, shoot him a text and let them know you are grateful and you had a great time.

Be open about your feelings;

I’m about as good at this as I am about putting away my clothes (ask my wife).

I’m trying to be better, which will go a long way to strengthening my bro bond.

6/ Take a class

Think about it, where did you make your closest friends?

They are probably from school (elementary, high school, college).

As an adult, the challenge is finding buds that share the same things.

Taking a class on something you are interested in is a great way to find others with the same interests as you.

Do you like foraging? Take a mushroom identification class.

Or like whiskey? Do a tasting.

Find a class, learn something new, and maybe discover a new buddy with a shared interest.

BONUS:

You’ve probably heard the ol’ saying:

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

The friends we keep, even as adults, help us achieve and learn new things.

Takeaway:

So if you want to be healthier and live longer or make a change, surround yourself with friends.

Find your pack to run with (hopefully not in the nude across the diag).

Your health and longevity depend on it.

Raise Kids That Can Defeat Robots

Dads, have you ever thought, damn, Terminator is looking less like fiction?

Undoubtedly the future will look like some version of the Jetsons…full of robots.

Robots, or what we commonly refer to as Artificial Intelligence (AI), have caused more buzz than the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. 

The hype has been chiefly about OpenAI’s ChatGPT.

What is ChatGPT? 

First, AI stands for Artificial Intelligence, and it's like a robot brain that can think and learn on its own. 

And ChatGPT is a special kind of AI that can talk and write, just like you and me.

So imagine Pinky is like a regular person, and he wants to know something. But instead of asking the Brain, he asks ChatGPT. And ChatGPT can find the answer for him really fast, because it's really smart.

Just like how the Brain always has a plan to take over the world, AI and ChatGPT have a plan to help people with all sorts of things, like talking to a doctor, or helping with school work.

[ChatGPT’s answer when prompted to explain ChatGPT like Pinky and The Brain]

ChatGPT can draw up contracts, craft blogs, write code, pen essays, and pass exams.

ChatGPT could even get an elite MBA from a Uni like Wharton.

A Wharton MBA professor recently gave ChatGPT their course exam, and it beat students, scoring a B.  

If you think that’s impressive, ChatGPT passed the US Medical Licensing exam.

And coasted to a pass on the Bar exam (lawyers betta be scared).  

Educators worry that cheating will spread faster than the latest TikTok dance trend, stoking fear that AI will make many things we know today obsolete.  

So much for Waylon Jennings' advice:

“mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys…let’em be doctors and lawyers and such.”

So what?

The opportunity might be in what we value and how we teach our kids, so they don’t get replaced by robots. 

This tweet from Neil deGrasse Tyson (Astrophysicist) sums it up well.

When Students cheat on exams it's because our School System values grades more than Students value learning.

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) April 14, 2013

If parents and educators, continue to value grades over learning, we are destined to raise kids that robots can replace in the job market. 

Well, how can an exhausted, maybe non-techie, dad raise the John (or Sarah) Connors, that can defeat SkyNet (not get replaced by robots)?

Here are the 6 things I’m doing and you can do today:  

1/ Get familiar with AI 

You don’t have to be a genius or techie to use AI.  

ChatGPT is free, and interacting with it is as easy as typing in questions. 

There’s a fun website that lets you type in any word and creates an image from those words.  This AI tool is called DreamStudio.  

Try it out.  Have fun.  This is only the beginning.  

2/ Raise kids with traits that AI will not easily replace.  

Creativity, empathy, critical thinking, and communication (a big topic for a future blog post).

There are many ways to do this but to put it simply, model and encourage these behaviors through your own actions.

Think “monkey see, monkey do.”

And encourage them to; pursue passions like the arts, solve puzzles, name and discuss their emotions and find their favorite storytellers so they can read and learn to tell stories. 

3/ Expose them to AI early 

Use ChatGPT to explain a topic.  Use a prompt like this:

Explain [Insert Complex Topic] like [Their Favorite Cartoon Character] to [Grade level].

Example of a prompt I might use:

Explain nuclear fusion like paw patrol to a preschooler. 

Nuclear fusion is like when the Paw Patrol team works together to save the day. Just like how each pup has a special skill and job, the tiny things inside atoms called nuclei have special properties and when they work together, they can make a bigger and stronger atom. This process is called nuclear fusion and it's what makes the sun shine, and it's also what scientists are trying to do in special places called fusion reactors to make clean energy. Just like how the Paw Patrol team works together to save the day, Nuclear fusion can make a lot of energy for us to use.

Explore together.  Let your kids ask the questions.  Discuss where it is right and where it does not explain things fully. 

4/ See AI as a power tool 

Ok, so imagine you’re building a skate ramp for your kids.  

You could use a handsaw but damn, you will be there for hours.  Instead, you pull out your Dewalt battery-powered circular saw. 

This is how we should think of AI. It can help us work faster and better while saving us from some serious pain (dem’ shoulders get sore for days in your 40s)

Need to draft an email to an upset customer...use AI. 

Need an icebreaker or good “no fail’ question to start a meeting…use AI.

Want to draft a rental contract for a new tenant…see where I’m going with this? 

One emerging trend for using AI as a power tool is promptcraft.

Promptcraft is like being a woodworker and using power tools to aid in crafting a beautiful piece of furniture. 

The woodworker knows that the joints and the finish make the piece beautiful, so that’s where they spend most of their time learning and focusing.

Promptcraft uses AI to make quick and accurate cuts so you can spend your time on the joints and the finish to get a beautiful piece.  

5/ Explain to them how AI is already improving lives

I work in healthcare, and we’re using AI to make doctors' and nurses' jobs easier by finding diseases that even a trained eye might not catch.  

It is also helping find patients that might be at risk so they can get treatment before things get hopeless.

But it doesn’t stop with healthcare. Tesla and self-driving cars use AI to make roads safer by making decisions way quicker than distracted drivers (get off your phone).

Next time you see a Tesla on the road, make a note to your son or daughter and mention how the robot in the Tesla is making the roads safer for all of us. 

6/ Value learning over grades

Grades might have some value, but learning is the key to life.  Praise the act of trying, failing, reflecting, redesigning, and retrying. 

Hell, instead of sitting at a desk.  Play hooky (a post on this topic) with your child to learn something. Go to a museum, learn a new sport, or take a class on a new practical skill.

Try something, try anything that focuses on the act of learning.

Takeaway

We, dads, have a big responsibility, to make sure our kids don’t get replaced by robots.  

It starts with us learning about and embracing AI as a power tool that can make life better.  

Pick one of these things and start today. Your kids’ futures will depend on it.

“I’ll be back….”(said in my best Arnold voice)

The Secret Billionaires Have, For Losing Their Dad Bods

If you are like me, you’ve worked hard to get that dad bod.  And it’s not exactly going anytime soon.

I’ve been working on mine for 5 years.  Sympathy eating with my pregnant wife and neglecting exercise like I did my childhood pet hermit crab. Sorry, Hermy.

Well, good news! There is a secret weapon billionaires are using to shred their dad bods. Going from soft to svelte with almost no effort.   

Billionaires (most notably Elon Musk), celebs, and influencers are shooting it up like Johnny Weeks (Bubbles' heroin buddy in The Wire).  

The secret...a drug called Wegovy.

What the hell is Wegovy?

I’m glad you asked.  

It is an FDA-approved diabetes drug that you inject weekly to control diabetes.

And now, apparently, to lose weight.  

The scientists call it a glucagon-like peptide-1 (GLP-1) receptor agonist (aka semaglutide). Ya, I don’t know what the hell that means either.  But the Billionaire's secret sure intrigued me.  

And here’s the miracle…you get ripped without having to change your diet or exercise.  

How does it work? 

With the help of the Mayo Clinic, Google, and a few influencer docs, these are the 3 things Wegovy does to help the rich and famous get ripped:

1/ It kills appetite quicker than watching your kids sneeze on your food by messing with the brains receptors that control appetite (GLP-1).

2/ It slows digestion (food moving from stomach to intestines) to a crawl like gawkers checking out a fender bender during rush hour.  

3/ It wins Most Realistic Halloween Costume award by dressing up like insulin and tricking the body into thinking blood sugar levels are lower than they are.  Low blood sugar levels equal fat-burning zone.   

This sounds too good to be true.  

Why isn’t everyone on it?  

Well, everyone kinda is, or at least they’re trying to get their hands on it.  

Look at the Google search trend for Wegovy. It's bouncing off the ceiling like a champagne cork. 

It is so popular right now that a run on the drug is causing a shortage for people who need it for their diabetes (Ozempic).

So where can I get it?  

Hold up bucko. 

Let's talk about the downside; there are at least 3:

1/ Reports show that the fat loss is paired with an equal amount of muscle mass loss. I’m picturing a skeleton in a skin suit like Matthew McConaughey in Dallas Buyers Club. 

2/ It can give you gut cramps. Reminding me of a stomach bug that had me hunched desperately on the toilet for 24 hours straight.

3/ And there is just not enough data to show if the recreational use is worth the long-term effects of tricking your pancreas and brain into losing a few pounds. 

IMPORTANT CONCLUSION: 

This is not an endorsement of Wegovy. 

Here at Dynasty Dad we share science-based tools for busy dads that help you be the best dad possible.  

And health and wellness are part of the best version of you.  So we feel the duty to share the science about this emerging trend.    

TBH you won’t find me shooting up Wegovy anytime soon. 

However, just because it is trendy, doesn’t mean we should write it off as a fad.  

Science has made major advancements in treating the body and disease. 

Finally, there is nothing that beats good ol’ fashion diet and exercise. 

How do you think Rocky defeated the Russians?

Connect with Your Wife By Getting Awkward Like Michael Scott

Do you ever dread situations where you’re forced to meet someone new?

Do you cringe at meeting a new work colleague or attending a friend’s holiday party?

How will I fill those empty voids? How do I keep the conversation going? Those are just a couple of questions that race through my mind in these scenarios.  

Psychologists believe your next new friend might be made by exploring Michael Scott-style awkward questions.  

Michael Scott is notorious for his get-too-personal, too-quick style of interacting. 

But it’s not just Michael Scott who believes in getting up close and personal with new people.  

According to head doctors, guinea pigs participants in an awkward question study reported feeling more connected and happier with their ‘new acquaintances.’  

These researchers outlined a series of questions designed to make people feel vulnerable, which tends to break down walls and forge a closeness.  

I wanted to put it to the test, so I asked my wife if she would be up for a “hot new experiment” (she rolled her eyes at first but eventually got on board.)

I scrolled through the questions below, which turned into 45 minutes of fun and laughter.  Heck, I even learned something new about my wife. 

Try the questions out with your wife/partner before trying this on a stranger.  You both might have a good time, learn something new, and feel more connected. 

Of course, I can’t suggest being vulnerable without exposing myself.  So here are the awkward-inducing questions from the article and my response to add color. 

Q: "Can you describe a time you cried in front of another person?"

A: Nothing can bring tears like old yeller…definitely the passing of our family dog.

Q: "What is one of the more embarrassing moments in your life?"

A: Any one of the 100 times one of my kids lost it in public.

Q: "For what in your life do you feel most grateful?"

A: My daily routine.  Wake up early to write and read (before the monsters get up), do an AM workout, a midday meditation (in between juggling work and some fiercely independent kiddos). 

Q: "If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your future, or anything else, what would you want to know?"

A: Are we going to make it?  Our current forecast; is a Michigan winter, 3 kids under five, at home, while I’m trying to WFH. 

Q: "What do you love doing?"

A: Exploring and discovering.  Translation; hiking, hunting, traveling and foraging for mushrooms (not at the same time).  

Q: "What do you regret most?"

A: Wish I knew in my 20s what I know now (at 42). Translation; Invested in more real estate, went on a grand adventure (like the kid that built a log cabin by hand…check this out), did not work right after college but moved to Paris, tended bar, and learned French (oui, oui).

Q: "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

A: Also the worst interview question.  I didn’t answer, who knows what will happen in 5 years. 

And finally, the lightning round.  Here are a few more questions to keep the awkwardness going.  

Q: "Are you better at working, or relaxing?"

A: relaxing

Q: "Are you more sensitive to news, or fiction?"

A: probably news (I don’t think I would use this question). 

Q: "Given the choice, would you live alone or with others?"

A: This is easy…others. 

Q: "Which comes more naturally to you, gratitude or generosity?"

A: Generosity

Q: "Do you often forgo transparency for kindness?" 

A: Absolutely…sometimes I wish I was a bit blunter (Breaking Bad Saul-style)

So get awkward.  Start with your partner.  See what you learn.  And then, if it works, go all Michael Scott, and get awkward at your next meet and greet. 

A Letter To My Son

Whenever I describe your birth, I describe it as the best and most memorable moment of my life (the best day of my life was the day I married your mother). 

I vividly remember that day.  I know how you love it when I tell the story. 

So here it goes again. 

It started with your momma thinking she peed the bed (it was her water breaking).  

And a chain reaction was set in motion when I fired off a simple text “Meredith’s in labor.”  The text sent our whole family into a tizzy, especially Grammy.  

Side note: Grammy’s herd of friends were cheering for her to fulfill her life’s aspiration of being a grandma (you were it, buddy).  

Then hours of painful agony your momma endured (+12 hours of labor) to squeeze you out into this world. 

And your birth(I am crying right now just thinking about it). 

There was a love born at that moment that I never knew existed. 

It was a love for you, my sweet baby boy, and for your momma, who did all the hard work to bring you into this world. 

The pride I had for my new baby boy as I clipped the umbilical cord and you laid lightly crying with your pink and blue-veined skin covered in a waxy gook (vernix). 

The excitement and tears of joy as momma and I tossed names out for an hour and a half until we found the name that fit you, Henryk. 

Finally, we decided that we had held off the feral grandparents long enough.  We asked the nurses to open the gate to let your fiending family finally meet you. 

They tore back the curtain, and we announced you to our world (your family). 

“We want you to meet your new grandson, Henryk Wyatt”.  

There were so many hugs and kisses and tears of joy.   

You couldn’t leave the hospital without an examination.  The nurse came in, and Mimi and Grammy joined me to do a complete once-over. The nurse noted you looked healthy and normal except for one thing.  

The nurse said she had never seen anything like it in her 32-year career. 

“This is the tightest butt hole I have ever seen.”

Don’t ask me how she measured tightness or why that was the thing she chose to say but it makes us laugh every time we tell that part of the story.

That is your origin story.  

I needed to be reminded of the greatest moment in my life before I share with you the heaviness I am feeling today. 

One day, probably in the not-too-distant future, you will be able to read this.  

There are three things I hope you get from this letter; mistakes, emotions, and being a dad is tough at times.   

First, mistakes are an important part of life. I hope you will look at my mistakes with grace because I’m trying.

Here is an interesting way to look at the importance of mistakes.   

I recently listened to a podcast that interviewed Chamath Palihapitiya (a controversial billion with an amazing rags-to-riches story). 

Chamath said this about mistakes, “life's success is how you control your mistakes. You control your mistakes by making a bunch of mistakes.”  

Here’s how I interpret his quote. 

Success in life is about the speed and intensity of learning, and learning comes only through trying and failing. 

And the more we fail (make mistakes), especially early in life, the quicker we learn what works and how to succeed. 

I hope that my mistakes now will make me a better dad tomorrow. 

The second thing I hope you get from this letter is how I feel in this challenging phase. 

This letter is me showing you that all emotions (even negative ones) are ok and my attempt to share them in a healthy way with you.    

We are in a low, right now.  

What does a low feel like? 

It feels like being in the dark: a little scary and unclear which way is the right direction.  

I feel this way because we have tried everything, and nothing seems to be working right now. 

It feels like my senior year of high school soccer and getting knocked out in the playoffs. We put in so much work to get to that point but it was not enough.  

Your momma and I have put in a lot of work trying to be the best parents for you and your sisters.  

I’m also feeling frustrated that I can’t figure out what you need.  

You’re four and a half.  

I know it must be hard to express how you are feeling.

The frustration is also a frustration with myself because at times I let my emotions get the better of me, and I’m not always the calm emotional example you need.

As I write this letter, I am committed to you, your sisters, and our family that I will keep trying.  

Keep trying to be a better dad, understand what you need, and help you find ways to share your emotions in a healthy way. 

There are no bad emotions; all emotions are ok. 

My role as your dad and our role as parents is to show you and coach you how to share your emotions (even negative ones) in a good way that doesn’t harm you or those around you. 

Finally.

I love you, son.  I am proud of you.  And I am proud to be your father.  

What Making Pancakes Can Teach Us About Raising Great Kids

A friend once told me they refer to their firstborn as their first pancake.

Have you ever woken up early and had a craving for just-add-water pancake mix?

If you have, you can relate to the first pancake analogy. 

More times than not, the first pancake is slightly misshapen and not cooked right (too brown or too pale) as you get a feel for the pan and your cooking rhythm.

The first pancake is the test pancake, so all the other pancakes are perfectly cooked. 

Sometimes I feel this way with our firstborn. We made most of our mistakes with him, and our other kids benefited from their now 'experienced' parents.  

Before our first child, I researched and read books about raising the next Elon Musk.  

But nothing prepared me for that moment I became a father. It was exciting and scary.   

The great news is I learned a ton from our first pancake. Here are the four things I learned so you can avoid the test pancake:

Step 1 - Prep: Research shows that 0 to 7 years is the most critical development stage.

It took real-life challenges to find the right books.

Here are the 3 books that every dad should read before his first is born to navigate those early and most formative years. 

1/ Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. 

Summary: The FBI's top hostage negotiator shares how empathy is the key to winning in business, life, and parenting. 

2/ No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame. 

Summary: As any great CEO uses confidence, respect, and calm direction, so should parents with their kids. Author Janet Lansbury shows how important it is to avoid being dismissive, judgemental, and demeaning which is key to raising confident and independent kids.   

3/ Twelve Hours Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old: A Step-by-Step Plan for Baby Sleep Success.

Summary: Sleeping is your child's first lesson in independence. Learning how to self-soothe and put themselves to sleep. A more rested baby and parenting unit is a happier and healthier household.

Step 2 - Proper Utensils: I imagined my role as a coach, teacher, and discipliner.  

But in those early years, it is more fundamental.

I discovered that so much of the early years are about calmly helping my kids identify and express their emotions.

This may sound touchy-feely, but I learned this is critical to the healthy development of all other areas.

Honestly, being a calm model to help my son recognize his emotions has helped me a ton.

I came to the realization that I needed to work on this myself.

Step 3 - Practice: Parenting is Practicing.

No dad is a perfect dad right from day one.

We all have things to work on.

Dadding is no different than putting the hours in at the gym, honing a craft, or improving a golf handicap.

It takes regular practice. Each interaction is an opportunity to practice and learn.

And hone those skills to become a Jedi master dad. 

Step 4 - Keep stacking: Even if imperfect, a hot pancake with syrup and butter tastes great.

Be easy on yourself.

Kids are forgiving, so you can forgive yourself.

I make mistakes all the time.

The key is to keep moving and try to get better each day.

Don't beat yourself up because your kids won't beat you up for making a mistake.  

So now I pass the spatula to you put in the prep, make sure you have the right utensils and the pan is hot, and keep flipping.  

I’m A Billionaire

Billionaire.

That's not a word most of us would associate ourselves with.

Bold statement alert... I am a billionaire and you probably are too.

Let me explain.

I’m 42 and what this means is that I’m at the tail end of a majority of my most important relationships and important experiences.

For instance, 90% of my time with my parents has already been spent. I lived with them full-time until I was 18 and now, I might see them one weekend a month. Most of my time with them has been lived.

The reverse is true for my kids. Over the next ~18 years, I will have spent 90% of my time with my kids.

This is sobering but also motivating.

Tim Urban has visualized this concept of the Tail End. He visualizes all his favorite things showing how much he has already experienced them and how much time he likely has left to experience each.

If I live to my mid-80s I might only have 40 Autumns left with my wife and kids…I better find a way to relish each one.

We can also look at this through the lens of time. If we took our graphing calculator with a couple of quick strokes you would see how most of us are billionaires.

Not by the zeroes in our bank account but as a measure of time. We're all likely ‘time’ billionaires. 11 days is a million seconds and 31 years is a billion seconds. That means most of us are billionaires with the wealth of time, our most precious resource.

My takeaway:

Since I am on the tail-end of most of my most important relationships and experiences I better make the most of my time with my kids, especially fall hikes.

And I am rich. I likely have a billion seconds left and it is up to me how I use that billion to enrich my life and my kids and the lives of those around me.

P.S. This was one of our last fall hikes of the season. Check out that lil’ creeper in the background.

One Mom-Rule Every Dad Should Break

Remember this classic line…

“No more horseplay!” Said every mom and teacher.  

‘No more horseplay’ is a rule every dad should break, and let me tell you why.

Even before I read any research, horseplay was and is part of our daily routine. 

I enjoy nothing more than sliding out of my work-from-home office between meetings and switching to my Evil Shredder voice.  Then chasing my four-year-old and two-year-old ninja turtles around and tossing them into the sewer (on the couch). 

Or I like transforming my eight-month-old into an 'Evil Ninja Baby' and chasing after the older two with a flying karate kick. 

It often ends with Evil Shredder (me) out of breath and a pile of ninja turtles on top practicing their ninja moves.  

Horseplay has a long tradition of being ‘banned’ by parents and teachers.  But I am glad to inform you that you don’t have to follow this rule because science says horseplay has big benefits.   

According to Dr. Anthony T. DeBenedet and Dr. Lawrence J. Cohen, in their book The Art of Roughhousing, here is what letting your ninja turtles go cowabunga on you can do for them:

• Horseplay builds confidence

• Horseplay helps solve behavioral issues  

• Horseplay allows children to develop a sense of balance and coordination

• Horseplay can promote social and emotional development in children

So, the next time you see your ninja turtles engage in some horseplay, don’t tell them to stop.   Instead, summon your inner Shredder and join in.  It will make you feel good about breaking a long-standing rule, and your kids will be better off.