How To Date Your Partner
How To Date Your Wife
This isn’t about sex.
But:
If you feel that that part of your marriage is lacking, take a step back.
What are you doing to make your wife/partner feel special? Loved? Doted on?
It can be easy to forget the need to take special moments for keeping romance, well, romance-y.
For this, we are focusing on a few easy things you can do to date your wife/partner again.
Skip The Fancy Meal
A Rage Room is basically 10 years of marriage counseling in one hour
The date night that has been programmed into us is the:
Movie-Dinner-Maybe-Sex-Probably-Sleep pipeline.
And as you date longer, it becomes increasingly difficult to imagine any other date.
It’s easy. You guys are hungry.
It’s also repetitive.
And Uninspired.
And won’t feel special if it’s the only activity you guys do besides parenting.
So, take your partner ax-throwing. Or on a hike. Or to the aquarium. Or have a picnic. Or or or… you get the point! Anywhere that is not the same restaurant you hit once a month.
But, when you do go out for your next dinner,
Make A Concerted Effort To Listen On Your Dates
Yes, babe, the Ear Trumpet is necessary
Do you ever see two people out at a restaurant and instantly think:
Wow, that is DEFINITELY a first date.
The focus on listening is uncompromised.
Borderline psychotic.
The guy is matching his bites up to hers, hiding his inner desire to annihilate the plate.
Thankfully, that ship has fully sailed for us married folk.
But!
It’s the thought that counts.
That undivided attention tells the other person one thing:
You are special, and I care about you.
Bring some of that first-date energy to your next dinner.
Make a Gratitude List
Thanks, Wikihow
Listen.
As our lives get increasingly complicated, it is easy to let resentment build.
Sadly, it is far too easy to live a life focused on troubles and daily difficulties.
It doesn’t matter if you are religious or not, taking time out of your day to write down what you are grateful for is amazing.
And, it is one surefire way to be able to appreciate all the things you love about your life.
And your partner.
Which will make it soooooo much easier to get romantic-y.
And feel, even for a moment, back in the honeymoon stage.
How To Be The Present Dad Your Kids Deserve
How to be the present dad your kids deserve and other ways to be a great dad raise great kids.
Mmmmmm….family time…..
We live in a world of distractions.
Whether it be the news, our phones, the confluence of the two: it is hard to live in the moment.
So then, how can we be present in a world designed to keep us occupied?
There isn’t one simple answer. Instead, we are going to give you three techniques you can implement in your life to make being present easier.
Schedule Time For Nothing
Look how easy it is for you to honor a pointless work meeting.
Instead of thinking, “God, I need time to hangout with my kids”
Make time. Literally. In your calendar. To do nothing.
Honor it, like you honor the utterly pointless weekly “Check In” with the boss.
Time with your kids doesn’t need to be an epic disney trip.
They will sense your presence.
Just don’t use your phone.
Which brings me to my next point…
Make A Clear Distinction Between Work And Family Time
Screw it… I guess this post is Homer-themed
For a lot of us, COVID has destroyed the separation of work and home.
Partly, this has been awesome!
More time at home = more time proximate to our families.
I used proximate in the last sentence to make a point; while we might be literally closer to them, work drives a necessary, but distinct wedge between us and them.
All of this to say: When you are working, work. When you are done working, be present.
I promise you, that email is not life or death.
Take Time For Yourself
This seems counterintuitive: we are talking about being present with our kids.
What do I gotta do with it?
Listen. A dad needs time for himself to recharge his batteries.
This doesn’t have to be an elaborate hobby, or a three-hour procedure.
You just need time to connect with your own emotions. (Mediation is perfect for this).
Without this, you are doomed to face burnout.
And stress.
And that constant feeling of “forgetting something”.
Which all are states of mind that make being present nearly impossible.
You can’t be a present dad if you are absent in your own life.
Why You Should Play Hooky With Your Kids
Why You Should Play Hooky With Your Kids and other ways you can connect with your kids.
mmmmmm…..hookkkkkkkyyyy….
Your kids probably don’t love school.
Unless you are incredibly blessed, you probably don’t love your job.
Obviously, both of you need to go to work and school.
But…
Not everyday!
An Annual Hooky Tradition
Photoshop Skills Not Included With Annual Hooky Day
Imagine this:
You take a single vacation day. You show up to your kid’s school, surprise them, and take them on an adventure.
You guys do something totally left-field.
Your kid is a skater?
You drive him(or her!) to the best skatepark in your area, one that is typically a little too far for them to bike to.
The best part?
They know it’s coming, but they don’t know when…
The Set-Up
Mask Not Required For Kidnapping Your Kid From School
You create a shroud of mystery surrounding the mythical Yearly Hooky Day:
“You won’t know when, and you won’t know what, but one day each year, I am going to pull you outta school and we are gonna do something EPIC!”
The curiosity and excitement builds in your little schemers…
“But what are we gonnnnaaa dooooo???”
It’s a secret.
From then on, everyday they have school, they will have it in the back of their minds.
Excitement growing.
Knowing, “Today could be the day…”
Why A Hooky Day
Make your kid “stock-image happy”
Look.
School is important.
It teaches kids an unfortunate truth about life: every single day, you gotta do shit you don’t want to.
But…
They are kids!
Put yourself in their shoes, or your own shoes, or just simply get back into the mind of a child.
How many days did you spend daydreaming about someone swooping you up, and taking you away from the dullery to go explore?
You will make that daydream tangible.
Plus, I promise you one thing:
Your kids will not forget those magical days.
The Five-Step Art of A Family Dinner Convo
The Five Step Art Of A Family Dinner Convo
“Instruction was splendid, pa-pah”
Do your dinner conversations sound like this?
“How was school today?”
Good.
“Anything fun happen?”
Nope. Normal.
Let’s take a step back.
The fact that you are having a dinner conversation is awesome!
Eating together is not simply family bonding time. According to Harvard,
“Regular family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression, and anxiety, and substance abuse, and eating disorders, and tobacco use, and early teenage pregnancy, and higher rates of resilience and higher self esteem.”
Ok! You’ve got the family dinner down, but you want to have more, let’s say, engaging conversation.
Here is a five-step guide to asking your kids questions they will be excited to answer.
This isn’t a formula; think of this more as a framework. If you feel like getting crazy and modifying it, do it! It will probably keep your little conversationalists on their toes.
HiLoFunFailFav
I apologize for the awkward mnemonic device, but if you say it fast, it does(kinda) roll off the tongue.
As I said, this isn’t a formula to spit at your kids. This is a framework for you to use!
Hi-Highlight of The Day
Here, you give your kids the opportunity to tell you what made their day awesome, if only for a moment.
Examples:
What was the best part of your day? (and you aren’t allowed to say “going home!”)
Did you learn anything today that blew your mind?
Did you see any squirrels water skiing?
Lo-Lowlight Of The Day
Time to let your kid get Emo
Give your kids the opportunity to act like an adult, and complain.
Examples:
What SUCKED about today?
What’s the most USELESS thing you learned today?
If you could do today over again, what would you leave in the past?
Fun-Funniest Thing That Happened At School
Let’s see them try to make us learn…
Give your kid the chance to show off his storytelling skills.
Example:
What was the CRAZIEST thing you saw at school today?
What made you ROFL today?
P.S. (Don’t worry I had to look up what it meant)
P.S.S (Yes, be a corny dad and say “ROFL” out loud, like roff-all).
Fail-Failure Of The Day
Get like Mike!
Here, you give your kids the opportunity to show you they understand failure is normal. This is also a perfect opportunity to start by modeling this question.
EXAMPLE OF MODELING:
Today I had such a hard time finding the right words for this blog post. It felt like my brain was deep-fried. After I meditated though, I felt way better and crushed it in like 45 minutes. What about you guys?
WHAT YOU ASK AFTER MODELING:
Did you get stuck at all today?
What was super hard in class today?
Fav-Favorite Food/Drink
Might as well be a 3 michelin star meal…
Ok, this one is an easy home run. No explanation needed.
Example:
What was the BEST thing you ate today?
Did you drink anything DELICIOUS at school?
How To Use It
This isn’t a checklist in which you have to hit each category in order. This is a tool: if the conversation is flagging, come back to it for guidance.
Oh by the way…
Don’t forget to give them a chance…awkward silence is what brilliance is made of…
Now go engage those little monsters! Make them spill their guts. If they are hesitant, show them how! Model how a conversation works. You are already doing the right thing by having a family dinner, now make it fun!
The 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of A Father-Son Roadtrip
The 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of A Father-Son Roadtrip plus a bonus
The Open Road. Limitless Possibilities. The Roadtrip might be the quintessential American vacation. While taking the entire family out to Joshua Tree is awesome, the Father-Son roadtrip can be an unforgettable-moment-making-machine.
To help make sure your unforgettable-moment-making-machine doesn’t become a future-resentment-making-machine, here are The 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of A Father-Son-Roadtrip.
DO: Make Your Son Lead Navigator
His Two New Friends: Rand & McNally
Give him an atlas. Tell him: You are the navigator.
Not only will he revel in the weight of imagined responsibility, he will be growing his Spatial Intelligence, which will help in the future when he’s signing up for Geometry class.
DON’T: Be The Roadtrip Dictator
“No Bathroom Stops For You!”
Nothing kills curiosity faster than these four words: Because I said so.
Frame this roadtrip as an adventure. That means being open to his suggestions(within reason).
Which brings me to my next point…
DO: Allow Time For Spontaneous Adventures
“It’s Wayyyyyy More Impressive In Person”-You Guys Explaining The Pics To Your Wife
This isn’t the cross-country mission to college you took when you were 18.
Is your son ridiculously excited to see The World’s Largest Ball Of Sisal Twine?
Do it!
The fun of a roadtrip is the capacity for spontaneous adventures.
You aren’t on a bullet train. Take advantage of what makes a roadtrip special.
DON’T: Pass Through A Major City During Rush Hour
“How many more minutes, dad?”
If road trips are all about feeling the wind in your hair (if you still have some), nothing deflates the mood faster than bumper to bumper traffic.
If you know you have to pass through a major city, do your best to do it early in the morning, or late at night.
DO: Take A Peek Under The Hood Before Embarking
…Or Have The Pro’s Do It
If you thought some traffic killed all of your momentum, wait ’til your transmission craps out in the middle of northern Idaho.
Trust me, you do not want to be stranded in Kooskia for three days.
DON’T: Be A Cheapskate
Not Pictured: The Laxatives Necessary After 3 Straight Baloney Sandwich Days
Baloney sandwiches are great, but a real meal every once and awhile is essential to making sure that your road trip is not entering future-resentment-making-machine territory.
Splash out on at least one real meal a day.
Both your bowels and your son will thank you.
That being said, another great way to save money is…
DO: Bring Camping Supplies!
Long Exposure Selfie Not Included With Tent
While hotel stays can be an essential recharge after a long day crammed in the car, spending the night under the stars can be one of those moments your kid will never forget.
Plus, this isn’t an ultralight thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail.
Bring all the gadgets you want.
Bring that heavy cast iron griddle.
Make Smashburgers in Yellowstone.
DON’T: Check Your Emails
Is It Worth Your Joy?
Before you go, make sure that you have taken all of the steps necessary to unplug.
By being confident you aren’t forgetting something, you fully immerse yourself in the moment.
(Your kid will appreciate it, also)
DO: Give Your Kid Disposable Cameras And Hire Him As Your Photographer
You’re Out-Of-Frame, Dad!
Again, this is an opportunity to make your kid feel like he’s contributing towards the mission.
Plus…
Novelty of a Film Camera + The Mystery of How The Pics Will Turn Out =
Fun lesson in delayed gratification.
Now, all of this has been fun, but whatever you do……
BONUS: DO NOT USE THE ROAD-TRIP TO GIVE “THE TALK”
Don’t Do It, Man
If you don’t want this trip to forever be associated with the in’s and out’s of puberty, save “the talk” for a day you don’t plan on doing anything fun.
Let this trip be memorable for all of the right reasons, and none of the awkward ones.