The NO Pressure Art of Teaching Your Kids To Ride A Bike
When my dad taught me how to ride a bike, he had two things to say:
You will thank me later
I don’t care about what you “Feel”. I care about results.
His Methodology:
Buy me a new bike.
Take me to a bike path.
Hold me by the shoulders as I wobble down the trail.
The problem?
Every time he let go, I would put my foot down.
I was afraid to go on my own.
This is rational; falling down hurts.
He was patient with me at first.
He would tell me, “The faster you go, the easier it is!”
While this is literally true, this advice did not factor in the real fear I felt.
He grew impatient.
I could feel his frustration, which only added to my hesitation and fear.
I started to cry.
Now, I can recognize that I was crying because I felt like he wasn’t listening to me.
“Dad, I wanna go home”
His response:
“We can go home if you learn to ride your bike, or we can go home after you have fallen five times.”
The results:
Skinned knees.
Tears.
I left the trail defeated, now associating cycling with fear and pain.
I didn’t try to ride my bike again for a year.
It doesn’t have to be like this.
This isn’t about the training method I am going to share with you, but about what the spirit of it teaches us about being a loving coach.
The New Method:
Make sure the bike fits your kid properly. For this, that means adjusting the seat so that their feet sit flat on the ground.
Remove the pedals from the bike.
With the pedal-less bike, let the kid scoot around on their own. They will naturally become more confident on two wheels, and soon they will be ready for you to put the pedals back on.
This method does two things better:
Encourages our kids to gain confidence at their own pace.
Allows the experience to be pressure free: this isn’t a zero to a hundred process, but a gradual increase in skill.
I did learn how to ride my bike eventually. Alone, out in our quiet street. It was in this environment, free from my dad’s impatience, that I found the confidence to try again.
I’m not mad at him; I understand how pure his intentions were. He saw all the neighborhood kids riding, and knew that I would feel excluded If I didn’t learn.
In his zealousness to help me, he made something that should have been fun incredibly stressful.
We don’t have to parent like this.
By creating an environment in which learning a new skill is fun and gradual, our kids will be able to teach themselves.
Don’t put your hand on your kids shoulder, and then be frustrated when they miss your support.
Instead, give your kid the tools they need to teach themselves.
Soon, they will be asking you to put the pedals back on their bikes.
