Contrary To Popular Belief Your Kids Shouldn’t Rule Your Life And It Starts With Sleep
Your sweet lil newborn has arrived!
You are OOOOHing and AHHHing over your new addition as they peacefully rest all…day…long
But as soon as night hits…
Your sweet little peanut flips like a switch…
Under the cover of dark…
Your peaceful-sleep-all-day-baby turns into a CIA operative…
Trained in the art of enhanced interrogation…
Specialized in the tactic of sleep deprivation torture.
Sleep deprivation is still an allowable interrogation tactic
And you get up for work the next morning feeling like something out of The Walking Dead
Spoiler… you don’t have to walk through the next 2 years of your child’s life feeling like a zombie.
With a little effort up front…
You can improve your baby’s development…
Get some sleep for yourself…
All while coaching your child to their first life lesson…learning independence.
Sleep training is often our first real ‘parenting’ effort.
But don’t go it alone. You will need a partner in this special op.
Start With Why: You want your baby to thrive
Sleep is important...not only for you but even more important for the development of your child. Sleep is as critical as food to your baby’s development.
Diplomacy tip: Start With Why (ode to Simon Sinek). The above ‘Why’ + the research below = my wife onboard.
NEWS FLASH: the research is in (by the Sleep Foundation here):
“Sleep plays a crucial role in the development of young minds. In addition to having a direct effect on happiness, research shows that sleep impacts alertness and attention, cognitive performance, mood, resiliency, vocabulary acquisition, and learning and memory. Sleep also has important effects on growth, especially in early infancy.”
So how can you support your newborn to receive uninterrupted brain development all night long?
And turn your sleep deprivation operative into a lil zen sleep buddha.
We followed the 12 Hours’ of Sleep by 12 Weeks Old written by Suzy Giordano method to achieve success for 2 out of 3 kids. I will refer to it as 12x12 for brevity.
Our stat line for both kids:
Hours: ~12 sweet uninterrupted hours…at night (varied 11 to 12.5 hrs)
by about 14 weeks…not exactly 12 weeks but sure damn close.
It made a world of a difference for our little nuggets and for my wife and I. Remind me to tell you about the cry it out method we used for our oldest.
The HOW of the 12x12:
PRO TIP: make sure your partner is onboard to avoid getting your head lopped off and to increase your chances of success.
PRO TIP Part Deux: Read the book before baby comes. I am a super slow reader and it took me less than a week. Trust me you will want to prioritize this read.
Roughly 7 steps summarized below with more detailed summary here:
Put Eyes On It (0 to 8 weeks). Keep track of your baby’s sleeping and eating schedule
Jot it down. Keep a (eat and sleep) schedule of your lil’ nuggets natural rhythm
Trigger Alert! Feed 4 hrs apart. Stretch out those feedings to 4 hrs apart for overnight success- Medical disclaimer: talk to your doc about this one
Bootcamp Starts. Mark your calendar Sleep Training Bootcamp at 8 weeks your peanut starts to get real with a schedule and you can start nudging them into your preferred sleep and eat schedule
Time to trim. Once that sweet lil’ pooper has their schedule dialed in, trim the number of nighttime feedings by slightly reducing the amount of food during those feedings. And you know what…the nighttime feeding will magically drop.
DO NOT rush in (pause for 3 - 5 minutes). set your sweet pea down EXHAUSTED and milk drunk but NOT asleep. Try during nap time to start. Give them 3 to 5 minutes before waltzing in. This gives your lil’ monkey a chance to learn self soothing.
Go for GOLD. Between week 10 and 14 bebe will drop the overnight feeding like it's hot. And then…your sugar sweet will be snug as a bug in a rug for +11 hours. This won’t be without a few wake ups. This is the parent training part…practice pausing…take a deep breath…allow your child to cry each time waiting 3 to 5 min. It gives them a chance to learn how to self-soothe. Repeat until your child learns to stay in the crib for +11 hours.
PRO TIP Part Tres: A 5 min pause can be HARDDDDD! Use your phone, set a timer and make sure you give your baby a chance. Think about it this way…you are helping your child to learn their first lesson in independence…you are allowing them to learn to self soothe and put themselves to sleep. The short term pain is worth the lifetime gain.
After 12x12 you will be the envy of your friends. They will want to know:
“how did you get your baby to sleep through the night at 3 months and achieve the enlightened zen sleep buddha status?”
Your child’s development will thank you,
Your Fitbit sleep score will thank you and
Your relationship with your partner will thank you.
