The 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of A Father-Daughter Roadtrip

I’m a girl dad.

I have two daughters.

I met a dad whose daughters were now in their early 30s. He shared with me his favorite way to connect with his daughter as they got older and too cool for school was a father-daughter trip.

He said he allowed each of his children to choose the destination.

They could go anywhere they were interested, just him and her.

He did it in middle school before their idea of fun was an Instagram trip to the Maldives.

My girls aren’t old enough yet but I imagine one day I will do a road trip with each of my girls to a destination of their choice.

Here are the 9 DOs and DON’Ts, as a reminder to myself for my future father-daughter road trips.

DO: Make Your Daughter Lead Navigator

Make her your co-pilot by making her your navigator so she feels a part of the journey and not just a passenger.

DON’T: Be The Roadtrip Dictator

Try not to say ‘no’. If she asks you to do something you don’t like, try using “yes” “and” adding the thing you daddio want to do.

Example: Daughter says, “let’s get a manicure!” You: “Yes and let’s go to a driving range after and hit a bucket o’ balls.”

DO: Allow Time For Spontaneous Adventure

This may be the most important reminder. Leave some extra time so that you can stop, make a detour, or stay a little extra time in one place.

This ‘do’ allows for unexpected experiences that create the stories that will last the test of time.

DON’T: Pass Through A Major City During Rush Hour

Nothing kills the excitement of a road trip more than traffic. Avoid it by avoiding major cities during rush hour.

DO: Take A Peek Under The Hood Before Embarking

Make sure the oil is changed and the fluids are topped up. Preventative maintenance is crucial to avoid waiting on the roadside for a tow truck.

DON’T: Be A Cheapskate

Ok, I’m not saying you go ‘Crazy Rich Asian’ but don’t be a cheapskate…splurge just a little.

DO: Bring Camping Supplies!

And mix it up.

Don’t just stay in hotels and eat at the Cracker Barrell across the parking lot.

Bring some camping gear, cook over a campfire, and fall asleep to the smell of smoke in your hair—nothing better than fresh air and shooing away raccoons all night.

DON’T: Check Your Emails

Let the road trip be for you and your daughter.

Work will be waiting for you when you return.

Only use your phone for navigation or a hot tip or two.

Don’t check email, nothing in that email will be more important than the time you have with your daughter.

DO: Give Your Kid Disposable Cameras and Hire Him As Your Photographer

Or an old phone so they can ONLY take pictures and document the adventure.

One day on your Alexa or Google Home you will see those pictures and the memories will come flooding back.

BONUS: DO NOT USE THE ROAD-TRIP TO GIVE “THE TALK”

No explanation needed. That sounds uncomfortable.

Be present. Do it together. Be curious. Be open. And don’t push an agenda.

The 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of A Father-Son Roadtrip

The Open Road. Limitless Possibilities. The Roadtrip might be the quintessential American vacation. While taking the entire family out to Joshua Tree is awesome, the Father-Son roadtrip can be an unforgettable-moment-making-machine.

To help make sure your unforgettable-moment-making-machine doesn’t become a future-resentment-making-machine, here are The 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of A Father-Son-Roadtrip.

DO: Make Your Son Lead Navigator

His Two New Friends: Rand & McNally

Give him an atlas. Tell him: You are the navigator.

Not only will he revel in the weight of imagined responsibility, he will be growing his Spatial Intelligence, which will help in the future when he’s signing up for Geometry class.

DON’T: Be The Roadtrip Dictator

“No Bathroom Stops For You!”

Nothing kills curiosity faster than these four words: Because I said so.

Frame this roadtrip as an adventure. That means being open to his suggestions(within reason).

Which brings me to my next point…

DO: Allow Time For Spontaneous Adventures

“It’s Wayyyyyy More Impressive In Person”-You Guys Explaining The Pics To Your Wife

This isn’t the cross-country mission to college you took when you were 18.

Is your son ridiculously excited to see The World’s Largest Ball Of Sisal Twine?

Do it!

The fun of a roadtrip is the capacity for spontaneous adventures.

You aren’t on a bullet train. Take advantage of what makes a roadtrip special.

DON’T: Pass Through A Major City During Rush Hour

“How many more minutes, dad?”

If road trips are all about feeling the wind in your hair (if you still have some), nothing deflates the mood faster than bumper to bumper traffic.

If you know you have to pass through a major city, do your best to do it early in the morning, or late at night.

DO: Take A Peek Under The Hood Before Embarking

…Or Have The Pro’s Do It

If you thought some traffic killed all of your momentum, wait ’til your transmission craps out in the middle of northern Idaho.

Trust me, you do not want to be stranded in Kooskia for three days.

DON’T: Be A Cheapskate

Not Pictured: The Laxatives Necessary After 3 Straight Baloney Sandwich Days

Baloney sandwiches are great, but a real meal every once and awhile is essential to making sure that your road trip is not entering future-resentment-making-machine territory.

Splash out on at least one real meal a day.

Both your bowels and your son will thank you.

That being said, another great way to save money is…

DO: Bring Camping Supplies!

Long Exposure Selfie Not Included With Tent

While hotel stays can be an essential recharge after a long day crammed in the car, spending the night under the stars can be one of those moments your kid will never forget.

Plus, this isn’t an ultralight thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail.

Bring all the gadgets you want.

Bring that heavy cast iron griddle.

Make Smashburgers in Yellowstone.

DON’T: Check Your Emails

Is It Worth Your Joy?

Before you go, make sure that you have taken all of the steps necessary to unplug.

By being confident you aren’t forgetting something, you fully immerse yourself in the moment.

(Your kid will appreciate it, also)

DO: Give Your Kid Disposable Cameras And Hire Him As Your Photographer

You’re Out-Of-Frame, Dad!

Again, this is an opportunity to make your kid feel like he’s contributing towards the mission.

Plus…

Novelty of a Film Camera + The Mystery of How The Pics Will Turn Out =

Fun lesson in delayed gratification.

Now, all of this has been fun, but whatever you do……

BONUS: DO NOT USE THE ROAD-TRIP TO GIVE “THE TALK”

Don’t Do It, Man

If you don’t want this trip to forever be associated with the in’s and out’s of puberty, save “the talk” for a day you don’t plan on doing anything fun.

Let this trip be memorable for all of the right reasons, and none of the awkward ones.