5 Things I’m Doing In 2023 To Crush Dadding
A new year is like a new pair of underwear. It doesn’t feel right until you’ve worn them in, if you know what I’m saying.
Here are 5 things I plan on making 2023 fit a little more comfortably as a dad:
1/ No Judgment January
No Judgment January is like dry January but with the alcohol (well, not exactly).
I’m committing for the next 30 days.
The commitment; is not to judge, blame or criticize my kids.
By approaching each scream, cry, yell, or fighting (you know, 2x4 over the head like Hacksaw Jim Duggan) as Sherlock Holmes, with complete curiosity, and without emotion.
So rather than immediately judging, blaming, or criticizing, I am looking to understand the feeling or emotion causing my child’s temporary lapse of judgment.
The goal is to be a calmer dad by being calmer in the most stressful situations with my kiddos.
So a 30-day commitment it is.
I hope that after 30 days, I’m not going to go back to judging, blaming, and criticizing because a good habit was formed by going hard for a short period.
Wish me luck.
2/ Learn something new
I found an Airbnb experience (renting an activity vs. a house) where I can learn to become a fun-ghi. There’s a lady locally that teaches mushroom foraging.
I already forage mushrooms (morels and puff balls) but want to ‘expand’ my mind. I’m just going for edible mushrooms, not psychedelic type…I don’t think.
It doesn’t matter what, but I feel like I’m growing when I'm learning.
3/ An expanded source of info.
I’m a podcast/YouTube junkie.
I get a dopamine hit from learning something new, but I listen to the same four or five.
I need to expand my horizon, so I’m searching for a new podcast.
Two I’m considering are:
Founders (https://founders.simplecast.com/) is one.
Have you seen a business biography? They’re 900-page bibles.
Founders is a one to two-hour summary of biographies of the most successful entrepreneurs (think Steve Jobs) highlighting the keys to their success.
I’m also considering How To Take Over The World (https://www.httotw.com/), a concise summary of some of the greatest conquerors of land, industry, and economy.
Any other podcasts I should consider?
4/ No more play-by-play.
Recently, I had one of those light bulb moments when my wife gives me the play-by-play of how one of our kids is ruining the day…it sets me off.
So I decided not to focus on the play-by-play but on the feeling I was feeling and tagging my wife in if my emotions were running high.
Again the goal is to be Yoda (calm and consistent guide) for my kids. And I can achieve that only if I’m not fired up.
5/ One-on-one time
Make one-on-one time a priority with each of my kids every week.
A trip to the grocery store, a puzzle together, or maybe a snowy walk.
A little individual time for us to connect.
What are you doing to make 2023 the best year yet?
How To Make Christmas Less Stressful
Aaaah Christmas.
Ever feel like Clark Griswold from Christmas vacation?
Stressed out trying to find your family that perfect gift while juggling hanging Christmas lights, closing out the year at work, and hosting family (especially your weird cousin)?
Here are five ways to make Christmas a little less stressful, keep our kids more grounded, and feel more connected.
1/ Sling soup at a soup kitchen
Every year, the day after Christmas, my mom signed us up to serve at the local soup kitchen.
We complained. We wanted to play with our Christmas toys at home in our PJs.
However, we grew to enjoy it and have many great stories from this time.
We also learned that people are in need, and serving others feels good.
2/ Buy gifts for someone else’s family
Wait, what family would give up gifts for Christmas?!?!
And how does this help me remove the stress of buying gifts by buying gifts for a whole other family?
Hear me out.
Adopting a family is easier because they typically give you a list of wants and needs.
You don’t need to find the perfect gift for each family member (this can be a painstaking hunt).
Also, your kids eventually learn it is better to give than receive.
Think about it. Most of the ‘things’ your kids and spouse want are things we can get almost any day of the year if we need them.
Many families don’t have this luxury, so why not teach the importance of giving by blessing a family in need?
3/ Stoke the embers of a new ritual
Holidays are all about tradition.
Why not start something new (our blog about new rituals here).
Try creating a new ritual that your family gets excited about every year.
One idea we explored after having some of the most delicious pancakes diner pancakes was trying to recreate the perfect fluffy diner-style pancakes.
Try a new recipe from scratch (no pre-boxed pancake mix).
Let it get a little messy.
Then each year, try to top the previous year's pancakes. Slathering those pancakes with butter and your neighbor's homemade maple syrup doesn’t hurt, either.
4/ Learn a new party trick, as a family
We have gotten into the rhythm of doing family cooking classes together over the holidays.
One year we learned to cook gritty south Philly Italian in a Philly neighborhood right out of the Rocky movie.
Where do you find something like this?
Look at Airbnb Experiences in your local area.
Or check out a Masterclass.
YouTube is a great place to learn how to DIY just about anything (learn to whistle loudly like a train or impress guests by learning to juggle).
Do it together as a family. Even if it is a bust, there will still be a Christmas story that will likely live on for years.
5/ Don’t do things, do experiences
Go to a museum with your family.
Go on an epic hike (or snowshoe if you are in Northern Michigan) where the destination is a treat (bakery, breakfast, or brewery).
Make a scavenger hunt (here’s one you can print off) in your neighborhood, and let the winner or winning team pick the next activity.
The Takeaway
Let’s make the Holidays easier on ourselves and a little less stressful by finding ways to connect more and focusing on experiences rather than things.