Dads, The Real Reason You Don’t Have A Hobby

I love to be outside; biking, hiking, fishing, foraging or hunting but these hobbies take time and commitment.

Extra time is like that mythical pot of gold at the end of the rainbow guarded by a tricky leprechaun…it don’t exist.

And Netflix is not a hobby...(Why do I always spend more time browsing for a show than actually watching???)

So what I found is trying not to overcomplicate it...hobbies don't have to be some complex or time-consuming.

Actually, it should be something that takes very little time so I can find a way to squeeze it in each day.

A hobby has a multitude of benefits…but before I lay out the benefits, lets first define what a hobby is.

A hobby is something that requires active participation (i.e. Shooting Hoops).

Something that is not a hobby is something that involves passive participation (i.e. binging Netflix).

I’m not bashing Netflix because I love a good binge-watch from time to time. We crushed Stranger Things this past winter (I still have Kate Bush singing “Be runnin' up that hill” stuck in my head)

A hobby is important because:

It puts us dads into a state of flow...which is like a massage for our brains (here’s the science to prove it).

You may ask:

If hobbies are so good for my brain and I have so little time how can I possibly find a hobby?

Return to your childhood...what did you love as a boy?

Loved to ride your bike as a kid?

Take 15 minutes a night to go on a solitary ride. Leave your phone at home. Push yourself to ride as fast as possible.

Loved to fill the margins of your notebooks with doodles?

Doodle! Throw on headphones with a favorite album, and let time melt away.

Loved exploring the woods as a boy?

Go explore again! As long as you are taking an active role in your life, you will feel the benefits.

Loved throwing a ball against a wall?

Go outside and throw a ball against the wall. Your neighbor might think you’ve gone mad but your brain will thank you.

Disclaimer:

I am not saying to avoid taking up a difficult, expertise-laden hobby.

This is dedicated to those who want a hobby, but end up watching TV every night.

Life isn’t all-or-nothing.

By making a small change towards active participation, you might find yourself invigorated enough to embark on a journey to learn how to make ships-in-a-bottle.

The Reason You Don’t Have A Hobby

Is this your Monday-Friday routine?

You go to work. You come home, and you think—

I wish I had a hobby.

This is the extent of the thought. Probably, you commence with family activities, and spend your final hours watching TV.

What’s Going Wrong?

Maybe you’ve made resolutions to yourself to get a hobby.

If you are reading this newsletter, I can confidently say you are a go-getter: you care enough about your family life to take proactive action to grow in your fatherhood.

Why is your free time different?

You take initiative at work, with your family, and with your relationships.

Why is it so hard to take initiative with yourself?

It’s simple: you need to change your perception of what a hobby is.

Is this your first thought when thinking of a hobby?

What if I told you nearly anything could be a hobby?

Hobbies do not need to be elaborate crafts. Often, it is this perception that prevents people from making a change.

Sure, building ships-in-a-bottle is an awesome hobby, but it requires expertise.

And equipment.

And lots of mental energy.

It doesn’t have to be this complicated.

What if your hobby could be as simple as a nighttime bike ride?

Active Vs. Passive Participation.

I would like to offer a simple dichotomy to change your perception of a hobby.

For this definition, a hobby is any activity you enjoy that requires active participation.

What does this mean?

Watching TV: Passive. It requires nothing from you. If you can do a side activity while doing your main activity, this activity is probably passive.

Shooting Hoops: Active. The moment you lose your focus on the basket, the moment you stop making shots.

Why is this important?

Here’s the paradox: while you choose passive activities because they are relaxing, they actually prevent you from really zoning out.

Why?

You aren’t able to enter the flow state.

Flow State: The Main Benefit Of Hobbies

What has made you feel like this before?

Simply put, the flow state is the headspace you reach in an activity where you forget the outside world exists.

Or, from a scientist, “A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness, the merging of action and awareness.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7551835/

What this means for you is the ability to relax in a real, meaningful way.

By being so engaged in a task that you forget about the world, you are allowing yourself to get the mental recharge you crave.

But how?

Again, the secret to this is active participation in your activity.

This doesn’t have to be ship-building, but can be anything you enjoy to do that requires focus.

If you don’t know where to start, return to your childhood:

What did you love to do as a boy?

EXAMPLES:

Throwing a ball against a wall could be your hobby.

Loved to ride your bike as a kid?

Take 15 minutes a night to go on a solitary ride. Leave your phone at home. Push yourself to ride as fast as possible.

Loved to fill the margins of your notebooks with doodles?

Doodle! Throw on headphones with a favorite album, and let time melt away.

Loved exploring the woods as a boy?

Go explore again! As long as you are taking an active role in your life, you will feel the benefits.

Disclaimer:

I am not saying to avoid taking up a difficult, expertise-laden hobby.

This article is dedicated to those who want a hobby, but end up watching TV every night.

Remember: life is not all-or-nothing.

By making a small change towards active participation, you might find yourself invigorated enough to embark on a journey to learn how to make ships-in-a-bottle.